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A Call to Action

The last time I tried this I failed horribly. I think I got a bit too preachy (black folk don’t like to be preached to unless they are at church!). So this time I will try my best to keep my words to a minimum.

We definitely have a lot of shit going on in this country right now, don’t we? I mean shit we are kneeling and praying during national anthems, we are boycotting football, putting our CSI experience to use, coon marking, surviving natural disasters, a Manchurian candidate shot up Vegas and the POLICE are still killing us in cold blood.

So I can understand why we would be a bit distracted from what we should be focused on, which is….

….making our communities whole.

Colin Kaepernick’s sacrifice has been on our minds almost daily since the NFL season began. Not only did he risk his job by taking a stand. He also has continuously put his money and time to use and has been putting in work within the community( Click here for more on that) . Lets try following his example of selflessness.

There are indeed folk within our communities that are putting in actual work! They don’t spend their time arguing on Facebook. They have created programs and opportunities for countless individuals and families.

So I want to help us get back on track.

In my experience it has been better to get involved with an organization at its inception. That has allowed me to push my agenda upfront; which is always to put my people on.

Here are some organizations from EVERY city that I have lived in that I know could use your time, sponsorship and donations. Some of these organizations have made me the man I am today. Some I have been a part of from a voluntary standpoint and others from within leadership. They all struggle every year just to exist.

Help me help them.

District of Columbia

  • DMV

Black Lives Matter – #BlackLivesMatter is working for a world where Black lives are no longer systematically and intentionally targeted for demise. We affirm our contributions to this society, our humanity, and our resilience in the face of deadly oppression.  We have put our sweat equity and love for Black people into creating a political project–taking the hashtag off of social media and into the streets. The call for Black lives to matter is a rallying cry for ALL Black lives striving for liberation.

What Does #BlackLivesMatter Mean?

When we say Black Lives Matter, we are broadening the conversation around state violence to include all of the ways in which Black people are intentionally left powerless at the hands of the state.  We are talking about the ways in which Black lives are deprived of our basic human rights and dignity.

Website: http://blacklivesmatter.com/

To donate: Donate Here

To volunteer:  http://blacklivesmatter.com/getinvolved/

Florida

  • Palm Bay, Florida

Palm Bay Youth Athletic Association – The Palm Bay Youth Athletic Association (PBYAA) is an organization that provides athletic opportunities for young people. Our goal is to introduce, teach, and develop the fundamentals of football & cheerleading to our local youth as well as to promote good sportsmanship, teamwork, and healthy competition.

PBYAA is a non-profit organization of parents and local citizens that has come together to provide football and cheerleading experience for the youth of our community. All money goes to support team supplies and activities. This is a combination organization supporting both football and cheerleading activities.

Website: http://www.palmbayfootball.org/

To donate: Donate Here

Illinois

  • Chicago, Illinois

Tuskegee Next – The Mission: Honoring the legacy of the Tuskegee Airman, Tuskegee Next seeks to transforms the lives of at risk youth through aviation education and career path opportunities, so they can transform their communities.

Our Strategy: Tuskegee Next seeks to provide role models and a clear path toward aviation careers through: Flight Training, Life Skills, and Educational Assistance.

The Goal: The goal is to get 100 young men and women their private pilots licenses in 10 years.

Website: http://www.tuskegeenext.org/#future1

To donate: http://www.tuskegeenext.org/donate/

To volunteer: http://www.tuskegeenext.org/connect/

Aerostars – The mission of the AeroStars Aviation Exploration Apprenticeship (A2EA) After School Matters Program is to provide leadership development to students by enhancing the academic awareness of the applied sciences through fun, hands-on demonstration. Our objectives are to teach students about the history and importance of aerospace technology in our everyday lives, expose students to the vast array of career opportunities within the aerospace industry, assist students in attaining the skills necessary to participate and lead in the next generation of Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM) innovations, and support students interested in pursuing a career path in any particular area. Lead by the dynamic Tammera Holmes.

Website: http://www.aerostarcorp.com/index.html

To donate: Donate Here

To volunteer aai@avioninstitute.org

New York

  • Brookhaven, Long Island NY

Boys and Girls Club of BELLPORT AREA – Here at the Boys & Girls Club we are looking towards the future – the future of our members.

The Club offers programs that impact the lives of our members in vital areas such as academic success, good character and citizenship, and healthy lifestyles. These programs and activities help youth thrive. Young people need to know that someone cares about them and we are here to support them in every aspect of their lives.

No matter how one participates – a volunteer, a mentor, a tutor, a donor, a staff member – collectively we make a difference. We can all put children on the path to a great future.

Website: https://www.bgcbellport.org/

To donate: https://www.bgcbellport.org/donate/

To volunteer: https://www.bgcbellport.org/volunteer/

  • Brooklyn, New York

Boys Hope Girls Hope – Operating a college preparatory boarding program in Brooklyn, NY, BHGHNY has a mission to help academically capable and motivated children from at-risk situations meet their full potential and become men and women for others by providing them with the safe and stable living environment, academic support, and guidance they need to finish high school, graduate from college, and become responsible and productive citizens.

Website: http://bhghinternational.org/

To donate: http://bhghny.org/donate.php

To volunteer: http://www.bhghny.org/displaysection.php?sid=4

Boys Hope Girls Hope

  • Syracuse, New York

Southwest Community Center – Man, this place is an institution in Syracuse. They have probably had a hand in the lives of 70% of the African Americans in the community. I love that place. With Bongos and B&B’s across the street. I just love it all!

You could go to the Southwest Center and play basketball, be in a play, learn how to cook, read, write and listen, work, learn to swim, get married and help the community.

Please help Aunt Tracie and the crew ensure that they continue to be a pillar in our community.

Website: http://smnfswcc.org/

To donate: http://smnfswcc.org/#donate-tab

To volunteer: http://smnfswcc.org/#contact-tab

Precious Lily & Brotherhood Foundation – a program ran by new City Councilwoman Latoya Allen is a mentor program located in Syracuse, NY. They focus on the importance of education and empowerment throughout our community. They host family events throughout the year and also teach our children the importance of giving back. They encourage our children to participate in the active process of making our city a better place to live.

To donate: paypal.me/AllenEndeavor

To volunteer: lallenpride@yahoo.com

As you can see the majority of the organizations listed are tailored to the youth. I know there are countless organizations out there doing work for ALL of us. And because I am not all knowing I need your help.

Please help me compile that list of those organizations in your city that are putting in work and need help. Using the template that I have established above, let us know in the comments the organization, city, a brief description, address, website, etc…

If you don’t have all the information that is fine, I will work to fill in the blanks.

Lets cut out the twitter fingers and start putting in actual work folk!!!

This illustration sums up the most what a lot of us are doing these days:

Do Something!!!

Please Share

Thank You

 

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Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Only Choose A Black Woman (Part 1)

 

Image result for solange wedding pic

I am not against interracial relationships (I would like to get that out up front). You should be able to choose whomever you want. However I do believe that one of our main issues in this country is the erosion of the black family and community. The reason behind that erosion is well documented, so I will not get into it here. However having said that, if you chose a women that is not of our race it is in my humble opinion a SELFISH act.

I know I know using the word SELFISH in this context seems a bit harsh. But it is not if you understand what the word means. Selfish – characterized by or manifesting concern or care for oneself. “Oneself”. Being a better black man is never about “oneself”. Choosing an “other” because her hair is straight, she isn’t difficult to handle, she stays in her place, etc… is all about YOU and nothing else. Stop being selfish bruh and grow a pair.

I also believe that to repair the damage done to our families/communities it will take an awful lot of SELFLESS actions. One of which should be to choose a black woman. Although that isn’t my main reason that YOU should choose a black woman. That has everything to do with HER and what SHE has done for YOU. Here are my top FIVE reason why YOU should choose a BLACK WOMAN:

1. She is becoming the most educated demographic in the country

  • According to the National Center of Education Statistics there are currently more black women enrolled in college than any other demographic (9.7%).
  • They are twice as more likely to actually graduate from college then YOU are.

Check it out for yourself here: National Center of Education Statistics, Degrees conferred by race and sex

2. Choosing her helps the community

  • Surprisingly our communities are not as strong as they were pre civil rights era. This is due in part to our strong family ties that were extremely matriarchal. Since then both the family and community has eroded. According to the U.S. Census Bureau only 39% of OUR children are growing up with both parents in the household (The percentage of white children is 74%). Just imagine how much better off we would be if both parents raised the majority of our children. I bet both the child and the community would be a lot better off.

Image result for Black Family

 3. She comes in every FLAVOR you can dream of!

  • Some guys choose others for their “exotic” looks, lighter complexions, etc…, thinking that they are better
  • The picture below says it all
  • There is nothing more “exotic” than a black woman. Go get you one!

 4. They are the new standard of beauty

  • Have you taken a look at social media these days? Everywhere you look there are “others” coloring their skin, enhancing their butts, lips, etc..
  • The models, TV and movie stars, etc… Are getting thicker.
  • And just go to this IG group and tell me I am wrong!

IG pages – @adoringblackwomen, @darkskinwomen

5. She has always been there for us

Image result for Black women and family during slavery

  • Our history began on this continent in 1619, when the first ships laden with West African men, women and children arrived in the colonies. A time when they tried to take from us our very identities as human. It was she who told our stories through the generations. It was she who made sure YOU kept your rhythm. She held our families together like NOBODY ELSE COULD.
  • After the age of slavery, while we were off fighting or building the white man’s war machine. It was her who made sure the children were fed. She was there when we returned home. She stood by our side like NOBODY ELSE DID.
  • During the Civil Rights movement she stood on the front lines with us, helped us remain organized, supported our ambitions and also held our families together like NOBODY ELSE DARED.
  • She stood by you when you couldn’t get that factory job and chose to take a chance by selling drugs. She held the family together whilst your wayward ambitions took you away from them like NOBODY ELSE WOULD.
  • She continues to be the only one that you can rely on when you are at your worst and she is just waiting for you to choose her when you become your best…

See a lot of men believe our women of color to be “Difficult”. But what they fail to understand is that our women have been dealing with us and our bullshit for centuries. If you don’t believe that every black women you know carries with her the shared experiences of her ancestors within herself intrinsically you know nothing! So by the time she starts dating one of us she already understands our centuries of baggage. She grows up seeing how we treat our women and expect the same. Then when she dates of few of us we dog her, just as she expected. So by the time YOU reach her at 35 she has not only been born with those centuries of innate hurt. She is then hurt repeatedly by us all 35 YEARS of her life. SO OF COURSE SHE IS DIFFICULT BITCH!!! ( I will take my hands off my hips now lol)

But the “others” weren’t born with the centuries of baggage we have. See their history with us is oh so brief. And that is why sir THEY DON’T DESERVE YOUR LOVE. They just haven’t earned it yet.

I will get into that final point more in part two of this series.

Thank You for your time

Are you ready to be a better man? Fuck with me then!

#Bebetterthanthem

 

 

 

 

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Black Men and Romance (The Plan Part 1)

You know I love the HBO show Insecure. I personally think it is a near perfect depiction of the current state of black relationships. In particular folk 35 and under. Some people would complain that the show is over sexualized. I would say that our relationships are over sexualized so the show got that right. But with all the screwing and love making on the show something important is missing; Romance!

None of the love interests in the show used romance to initiate sex with the main characters Issa and Molly. It almost always begins with a lusty encounter that looks both brief and unsatisfying. Does that sound familiar? Have your most recent intimate encounters involved romance?

Fellas this is mostly our fault! For starters I don’t think black men are the only guys that struggle with intimacy and romance in the bedroom. However, this blog is about making “US” better and that is where my focus lies with all of my posts.

If you ask most black women in America when was the last time they experienced romance in the bedroom, the answer would most likely be “it’s been a long time”. The reason behind this is complex but the short story is that Romance isn’t required anymore to have sex with a woman. They have become accustomed to going without; and now you would be pressed to see instances of romance in the bedroom on TV or anywhere really. That fact should not stop us black men who are interested in doing better though and I am here to help you change the narrative on this topic.

Whether you are single, married or in a committed relationship, romance should ALWAYS be a part of your repertoire; and here are 5 reasons why:

  1. Women love to feel special – telling a woman you love her and that she is special to you is one thing and showing her is another. A man who wants to be better will always do both.
  2. Women love to out do their friends – If you provide a romantic experience that supersedes what her friends have experienced you win.
  3. It’s good for you too – Black Men often have issues with expressing emotion. Being romantic gives you the opportunity to show her how you really feel about her.
  4. Makes you a better lover – I don’t know about you but I personally want to be the best lover in the world. Changing it up and adding romance will definitely make you a better lover. DO IT
  5. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOMEONE ELSE WILL – If a woman feels neglected in ANY WAY the probability is high that she will seek someone else to fill in those gaps. REMOVE ALL GAPS fellas.

Now I understand that sometimes it’s hard to come up with romantic ideas that are both creative and don’t cost you a bag of dough! But fellas, I am here to help you with a surefire plan that not only sets the new standard for your relationship but will also ensure that her panties are drenched before you even touch her.

THE PLAN (There aren’t too many things more attractive to a woman than a man with a plan)

Situation – This plan is best for those with a significant other but will work in most relationship types. Also, should be used for special occasions like bday, vday, etc.… or randomly (my choice).

Place – Your place. You have all the control over the mood in your own place. Control is king because the one with the control gets the credit!

What does it improve – Romance, Intimacy and Foreplay

What you need:

  • One week Meal Service Box (Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, Etc…)

Hello Fresh Box. Save 70% on a Hello Fresh Meal Plan (Click Here)

  • Fresh organic strawberries – Get these from your local organic food market i.e. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, etc.… black women are ahead on the organic food game and you will get points every time if you have produce from these places.
  • 1 bag of Chocolate Chips and 1 bag of White Chocolate Chips (get the brand that you like the most)

  • 1 Bottle of Wine – For White, get a Moscato (Try getting a unique brand (although she may be happy with a Barefoot wine you should step it up). Anytime you put her on to something new she will remember it forever.

Idea Link: Del Poggio Moscato (Click Here) .

  • If she is more into Red try a bottle of Jam Jar.

Idea Link: Jam Jar (Click Here)

  • For a different look try a Prosecco (Bubbles make her feel good)

Idea Link: Mionetto Prosecco (Click Here)

The Execution

Arrange a simple Netflix and Chill night with your lovely. When ready, put on the playlist and start making the meal together. The TOGETHER part is very important and the meal boxes are great because not only do they give you everything you need, they detail every step you need to take via pictures and video if needed. Take turns doing each step so that each of you are equally involved in preparing the meal. During this stage have normal conversation with just the occasional touch. Also, feel free to have a glass of wine or herb (whichever y’all prefer).

After your meal, it will be time for your dessert which will be chocolate covered strawberries. Now I chose the least expensive and simplest recipe for this but you can get as elaborate as you want with the ingredients here.

How To Make Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Feel free to get as messy as possible during the dessert making process (chocolate covered kisses are the best btw).

After enjoying both the chocolate and chocolate covered strawberries, she is ALMOST ready for the coup de grâce. Play this song from the BBBM Romance Playlist on Spotify or YouTube.

Daniel Ceaser – Get You

Now pull your lovely close and slow dance with her. By the second verse vertical foreplay is in order. By the end of the song the panties should be ready for removal (because they are drenched lol).

Enjoy fellas and if you have any questions about this tip please contact me at bbbmtheblog@gmail.com.

Also, if you are that dude and feel like you need a more advanced plan. Or if you have a special occasion coming up and want to surprise your lovely please hit me up.

Are you ready to be a better man? Fuck with me then!

#Bebetterthanthem