Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?
Yeah Me Either
But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…
What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?
In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.
Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:
- Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
- Lack of Foreplay (Part 2)
- ? (Part 3)
- ? (Part 4)
- ? (Part 5)
Lack of Foreplay
Foreplay is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as sexual activity that proceeds intercourse.
I would define foreplay as “anything” you do before sexual intercourse to get her in the mood. That includes both physical and mental activities.
Obviously to care about whether or not you want to engage in foreplay depends on the level of respect you have for your partner. If you don’t respect her nor care about her satisfaction, why would you care if she’s in the mood? Because of that fact I know a lot of women who complain about this issue are probably just guilty of having sex with a man they shouldn’t have been with.
This post is for those guys that actually do care about their partners’ satisfaction. They want to ensure that the pool is warm enough for a comfortable swim. I am sure yall know the basics of foreplay but here are some ways you can almost always assure she is ready to do the deed.
Physical Techniques (Low Level)
- Kissing – Kissing is probably the first foreplay tactic we all know about. I mean most of us were definitely kissing before we even thought of having sex.
A good kiss can get the job done, but if you kiss her “everywhere” you’d be able to watch her squirm in anticipation.
Pro Tip: Add melted chocolate to the mix and she will be in a special treat. Chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac and you will note a difference kissing her when she tastes like chocolate!
- Massage/Body rub – When I was younger my go to move was always let me give you a massage. It’s funny thinking back on that because I had ZERO training. Hell I still don’t. But being an expert is not a required because all she really needs is your focus and attention.
Fellas just take your time, be firm and touch everything. You could almost hear the engine revving up if you do it right!
Also a good massage oil/candle can go a long way. Women are turned on by preparation and planning so use something other than your mothers baby oil next time.
Links: Massage oil kit – Click Here
Massage Candle – Click Here
- Cunnilingus – Fellas its 2018 if you aren’t eating pussy survey says YOUR SEX IS TRASH…It can also help with your stamina (I will tell you how in a later post)
Mental Techniques (Low Level)
- Conversation – There are a lot of women out there who are more turned on by an intelligent, stress free conversation. This is why it’s important to be able to discuss more than sports, music and politics.
- Being Clean – If a women is in your presence she wants to feel comfortable, safe and clean. A clean house and body can go a long way to make her feel these things. Fellas just like you want her to be clean and smelling good she wants the same.
Also make sure you get a nice scent for the bedroom. Here are a few of our favorites:
Uomo Intense’ Eau de Parfum – Click Here
Valentino Uomo Intense is a signature fragrance whose intense character is drawn from Italian elegance. It is a contrast of noble and unexpected ingredients with a deep, leather signature. A fusion of mandarin and clary sage give way to the elegance of iris absolute, underlined by a deep black leather note. The fragrance is warmed up with suave notes of vanilla and tonka bean absolute.
Notes: clary sage oil, mandarin, iris, tonka bean, black leather and vanilla bean
La Nuit de l’Homme’ Eau de Toilette – Click Here
La Nuit de l’Homme, the fragrance for men by Yves Saint Laurent. A story of seduction, intensity and bold sensuality. A structure of contrasting forces. A seduction that lies halfway between restraint and abandon. Bright, masculine freshness combines with sophistication and nonchalance for a deep, mysterious and sensual fragrance. Notes: cardamom, cedar and coumarin.
Physical Techniques (High Level)
- Toys – Don’t be intimidated by bringing a toy or two into the bedroom with you fellas. Remember the goal is to please her and not expand your ego.
Having said that there are countless toys out there that you can get to help get the car started. A few examples would be feathers, vibrators, finger stimulators, etc…
My favorite are the remote controlled vibrators. If she is adventurous you can use this while apart to drive her crazy. When you get home the works already done.
Link: LOVENSE Lush – Click Here
- Sex Games – These are great for foreplay and in particular delayed gratification. If you get the right game I guarantee you never make it through it.
Try this one – Click Here
- Vaginal Massage (fingering) – I am not talking about what you used to do when you were a git. A more mature approach is warranted and when done right can produce magical results.
A few weeks ago I talked about the different sexually stimulated parts of the vagina and how you can stimulate them. (Read here) Probably the best way to stimulate these areas are with your fingers.
The key is to be gentle unless asked to do otherwise. And fellas please make sure your hands are clean, moisturized and nails clipped. You don’t want to cause any issues for her down there.
Mental Parts (High Level)
Role Playing – for women sex may be a bit more mental than it is for us. That means sometimes you have to switch it up in order to stoke the flames of passion. Get yourself a nice Jabari Tribe vest and watch her lose it.
Bondage – Teasing, delayed gratification and delayed orgasms are pro level tools you can use in the bedroom to take your game to the next level. Bondage is all about those three things. But it takes patience and focus to maximize her enjoyment.
Add a blind fold and that will naturally increase the sensitivity of all of her senses. Make sure you take advantage of that using toys, massage oils, chocolate, whatever she likes and she could never again claim your foreplay lacking.
Now fellas please remember tying her up isn’t an excuse to smash her brains out. Take your time and reap the rewards.
Here is a nice starter set if you are interested
Bondage Set: Click Here
Check me out next week for Part 3 in this series.
If you missed Part 1 Click Here