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American Black Men? An international perspective.

Black Men aren’t shit!!! That seems to be a popular sentiment by a lot of black women on social media these days (I live in a black bubble, no idea what the Others are saying)

I don’t want to get into the reasons some of our women feel this way and how some feel compelled to go elsewhere.

What I did do was wonder how women outside of the country felt about black men in America.

Have their experiences been positive with us?

Can they empathize with their American counterparts?

Do they appreciate things in American men that their men may lack?

So I asked a friend of mine to give her take on her experience with American men and with zero prepping by me here was her response. (Btw she’s not talking about me here lol)

KayPee is of Jamaican descent and a citizen of Toronto Canada.

@_kprince_

Dating the American Single Man, a Canadian Tale

I call foul…

I call muthafuckin’ foul…

I need someone to review the tape. Red card the whole lot. Eject these dudes out the muthafuckin game due to unfair advantage!

Sorry…but your girl is irritated, and it’s killing my ego to say why that it is out loud…
Until now…

Me: Hi. I’m KayPee from Canada.

Support group: Hi KayPee.

Me: And I…fucks with American men…
Support group: *sympathetic looks with soft claps and tearful nods* you so brave KayPee…

Why is this an issue you ask?

Well because at this point in my life, Issa too old to force squares into circle spaces, so I try to approach dating logically as opposed to emotionally. Therefore, though I’m fully aware of how challenging it is for two people who want the same thing to find each other, it still doesn’t logically make sense for me to entertain anyone that requires a plane ride or a road trip. I got needs AND I’m a monogamist, two attributes that MUST be reciprocated. So why be unreasonable and expect these attributes from someone who’s long distance to call? Yes, I know it’s not impossible (I’m aware people do it successfully every day) but is it worth the stress? No. I think…

But FUCKKKKK….here I am.
Still fucking with these bloodclot yankees.

I’m irritated yo, as they continue to knock down my wall of reality and I KNOW I ain’t easy. But here, here are four damn reasons why y’all need to send my ass thoughts and prayers. Four reasons why I grudgingly welcome the American invasion:

1) Pick up game strong AF

My local options fail at this time and time and muthafuckin time again. Yes, I agree that approaching a complete stranger and vocalizing interest is stressful, like public speaking. But…
Cry me a river. We live in a patriarchal society so you’ll have enough tissues of injustices to wipe your tears presently and in the future. Buck up.

But seriously, I’ve had my experience with horrible approaches. The first, the I-look-like-I’m-having-a-stroke-stare. Nevermind that this type of phenomenon is not subtle and comes off as creepy, but conducting an open-mouth, emotionless stare without not even a smile, looking like your face is frozen due to an internal health emergency and not blinking, is NOT COOL regardless of how attractive you may be. Serial killers are known to be good looking at times, so if I’m unsure whether or not you want to murder me by the look on your face, it ain’t a good approach sir.

But mainly there’s the indirect approach, anything to avoid just good old fashion moving they gawd damn feet in the direction of the woman they are attracted to. I’ve had niglets search and find me on social media talking about “I saw you last night at the party and…” blah blah. Or their friend will do the work and say ‘my friend wanna talk to you’ and points out they ass in some far off corner, eyeing at me through leaves of a potted plant. How can I “respect” that bruh?

Now those damn yanks? They will straight up let you know of their interest by giving you proper bedroom-eyes stare and/or smile. And they don’t leave it to chance by sending a friend. Nah bee they rolling up asking you your drink order, working the fuck outta first impressions. It seems a pretty basic way to start the process of meeting someone, but yanks get it right and locals be so so wrong.

2) Strong Reject Recovery

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to prepare myself to possibly have to fight a local dude whom I was not interested in. I’m sure I’m not alone in this outcome, thanks toxic masculinity! As I’ve implied above, I’m aware of how stressful and discouraging that walking up to a complete stranger can be. Though I have done the approaching at times in my life (it’s 2019 y’all) there’s definitely more of an expectation for the dude to do it; granted. Saying that, even when a local dude manages to move his ass towards me, if I’m uninterested which SINGLE WOMEN ARE ALLOWED TO BE, why the subsequent vitriol? The rude response? The mild temper tantrum? I choose to blame Drake, as though he may be really in touch with his feelings, I feel he knowingly/unknowingly gives ammunition to local dudes to feel entitled to only positive responses to their approach, or otherwise act like children and sulk. All I owe anyone is respect, even when I am uninterested. So a respectful “no thank you” should be the end of it, instead of “well that’s why you’re single” REAL LIFE RESPONSE! AND NOT THE WORST ONE! N*gga do you know me? I outta cut you…

Now to them yanks…so they approach as they do, but you’re just not interested. They accept the answer (after some further efforts, cuz they can’t possibly accept the first ‘no’, the cheeky bastards) with no bitterness, but how in the H-E-double hockey sticks did this seducer leave me considering whether or not I could have possibly made the wrong decision? It’s hard to pinpoint, and maybe it’s me and I’m used to having to prepare to a mace a disgruntled suitor, but a yankee never acts rejected! They usually give you some kind of parting compliment…”well girl you still beautiful AF” or “well at least take my card in the event you change your mind” or some parting joke that have you laughing like a hyena before you realize *poof*, ‘where he go’? Then if you’re still at the same event, he’ll make sure to playfully keep bumping into you or send you “eyes” (not creeper eyes) even though you said no. If I was to guess, this outcome is a reflection of their feelings of self-worth…they know they the shit, confident in what they bring to the table….so a ‘no’ from a complete stranger no matter how attracted they may be to them, ain’t gonna dent their armour. I’ve tried to have this conversation with my male friends…like ‘who am I’ who says ‘no’? Significant enough to destroy your self-esteem?! Absolutely, no. Don’t give anyone that power over you, including my fine self 😉.

3) The Chase

So when fake-Drake does the unthinkable and approaches me resulting in a positive end, why does he then commence operation “sit on his ass”?

Again, here’s another situation where I wish the stats proving that beautiful, worthy women outnumbering men in collosal amounts would show itself.

How else do you explain the nearly immediate coma that takes over when they “get the girl”?

I had an older gentleman leave me speechless, and I usually have a rebuttal for everything. After he successfully “got the girl” we experienced difficulty syncing our schedules and actually meeting up. Knowing that he was legit a busy man with a job that required crazy hours and travelling, I suggested that I could come meet him during lunch near his place of work. We met, had a cool time, then recommenced our dance of syncing schedules to arrange date #2.

After numerous empty forgotten promises, and dates followed by cancelations, it became evident that he truly was too busy to be pursuing anything at that time, in my opinion. So I just amicably ‘gave up’, no animosity, it is what it is. Then some time later he sprung up asking “what happened”. What happened? Was he not “there” during our multiple conversations and no-shows?

So I just laughed it off and told him to holla when his schedule free’d up so I wouldn’t have to chase him around the city. This ingrate responded to me, ‘you call that a chase’? I almost headbutt my cell phone. So I just read the message and didn’t respond. The ingrate re-sent the message after not hearing back from me and added question marks after it. Are you dumb? “What do you want from me?!”-Tyrese.

American gentlemen take care of the rotation, and yes, hate to break it to some ladies but regardless of the location, until we both agree to be exclusive organically (not by ultimatum), we all are in each other’s “rotation”. But the americans don’t make you feel that way, or at least give the correct amount of attention and intention to get to know you and stop you from getting into your feelings. The texts, the actual phonecalls, facetiming and successfully implementing ACTUAL PLANS to see each other. And these bastards fly you out, end. Of. Story. Not because they rich, but they appear willing to show some effort before concluding yeah or nay.

Who fights against reciprocating in such a situation? Not I. And I think also since they’re so damn territorial, they aint finished with you until THEY finished with you so hell yeah they gonna take up your time making it harder for some other dude to insert themselves.

Pretty basic actions when I re-read this, but still, the score is Canadians 0, American men 1212 in this department. Even situations that haven’t worked out in the past have been due to the amicable discovery of non-negotiables or difference of wants/needs, not due to any lack of effort. You get what you put in. Simple.

4) Talking about putting it in

Sex with an American dude…That is all.
Ok I’ll give a little, JUST a little because I don’t like gassing up dudes I ain’t messing with such as potentially YOU, the random, unknown reader. But yeah, I didn’t know how much I’d love a man’s hand around my neck……until an American put his hand around my neck. And his chat game during the act…good lordt. I’d say because they are typically very direct and confident these same attributes show up in ALL areas. Whew, can someone open a window or something…Jesus.

Now I’m not saying that all the locals here can’t fuck. But I’m saying my experience has been better across the border. Could be a fluke. Or not.
Again, someone open a god damn window or turn on a fan, please and thank you.

I’m saying no more. #ISaidWhatISaid

5) Warranted Submission

Now I would consider myself a feminist and an admirer of the black woman and all her layers and strengths. But as I’ve said numerous times to local guys here, even the strongest and most independent woman deep down would gladly submit to the right man, I don’t care what her mouth says. Hell I would in a heartbeat, because submission is a strength not a weakness. It’s an immense responsibility and act of incredible trust when a woman who could do all bad by herself let’s a man lead in the current climate, and that’s why it takes more than basic efforts to relinquish that power and appoint that position. It’s like a woman conducting the medieval ceremony of knighting a man…saying ‘I can do anything and have done everything, but I trust YOU to take charge’.

The American men ive experienced will NOT ALLOW WOMEN to take the lead. I tried to do so numerous times out of habit, not based on some agenda to emasculate him, and have been metaphorically slapped into “my place” (it’s getting hot in here once again). While my local prospects remain arguing on message boards on why women should go dutch on dates and how many coffee dates warrants a ‘real’ date and how many years it takes to get a christmas gift, this southern yankee told me once that if I dared open my own passenger car door again that he’d spank me in the parking lot. I know some women struggle with this sort of ‘leadership’, and I get why. We hear submission and we think “ownership”, while a REAL dude (in this case, my American dudes) thinks “responsibility”. And the locals hear this and think this submission occurs as a result of how much money an American dude may have and/or prepared to spend on a woman. All I can say is that’s not it, and talk to your successful capadres on the real deal. I dunno how to explain it, but I’ve just experienced it and NEVER from a non-American man. Maybe it’s a result of the immense patriotism to their country and/or loyalty to their block (i.e. “Detroit vs Everybody”) which translates to responsibility and sense of accountability towards whom they are dating. I’m sorry if my explanation is vague for this point…you gotta “be there” I guess. Regardless, my dear locals, take notes please.

Now listen. Though all these points are integral to my comparison of American vs my local men, it is not intended to be a blueprint to a guaranteed successful relationship. Case in point, your girl is still single, so my Canadian sisters, don’t go digging in your couches looking for airfare. American man checking off all the above boxes does not guarantee a good boyfriend or husband. But to me the above is BASIC material which my locals fail at miserably, all the gawd damn time.

Why? I dunno…maybe we women outnumber dudes so much down here that there’s little incentive to act right. For every ‘me’ maybe there’s 20 other ‘me’, prettier and funnier and willing to accept less and put up with more. *shrugs* Supply and demand, can’t argue economics no matter how it’s principles are applied. But these principals remain and are real at least for me, hence why I employ my sense of logic…

Stay AWAY from the Americans KayPee.
Stay AWAY from the American men KayPee.
Stay AWAY from the…
…
BRB, long-distance call coming through…
Chat lata,
KayPee

I wanna know, especially from those women in other countries. What has your experience been?

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Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 3)

Image result for Rated R

Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:

  1. Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. Lack of Foreplay (Part 2)
  3. Finishing to Quickly (Part 3)
  4. ? (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Finishing to Quickly

I remember growing up and hearing the “1 Minute Man” song by Missy Elliot and thinking that I NEVER wanna be that guy!

Just the way the song starts alone:

Ooh, I don’t want I don’t need I can’t stand no minute man
I don’t want no minute man
Ooh, here’s your chance be a man take my hand understand
I don’t want no minute man

It sounded exactly like the thing that would have women running away from you and who wants that? So I always strived to last longer than a minute.

Having said that I definitely have dealt with those moments when I came up short. There was this one time that I finally got to get with my long time crush….

… I decided not to tell that story. It wasnt a  good for your boy! Lol

I doubt that any guy that actually cares about his partner is busting off fast on purpose. Men suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) for many reasons. They can be too sensitive, anxious and in some cases don’t know when they are cumming until it’s too late!

Here are a few techniques you can use to keep the kids from leaving the building too early:

 

Trojan Pleasures Extended Duration Enhancing Lubricated Latex Condoms - 12 ct

Use a thicker condom – if you have an issue with too much sensitivity this may work for you. Stop buying “thin” or “skin like” condoms. What you want is a thicker condom to decrease sensitivity and hopefully help you last longer.

Image result for Take your time

Take your time (stop/start method) – Remember the goal is her satisfaction gentlemen. You are a dude and should get yours regardless so it isn’t a race to see who finishes first.

When you feel yourself getting to the point where you are going to cum. STOP. Now a doctor would tell you to resume after around 30 to 60 seconds. When you feel like you are going to cum again STOP. Keep doing this over and over again and it should improve your stamina going into future sessions.

I know stopping and starting can be awkward and annoying to your partner. So what I like to do is communicate exactly why I am stopping and then instead of waiting 30/60 seconds to begin again I just do something else like putting on a bib and going to work!

Image result for Squeezing tube

Squeeze method – The same as the start/stop method but instead of pulling out and waiting you squeeze your penis to cut off the flow. If done in time you can stop the eruption. Problem with this method is your erection may go with it. Make sure you are turned on enough where that doesn’t happen if you wanna try this method.

Image result for prescription drugs

Pills and Ointments – Don’t use them unless there is no other hope (erectile dysfunction or something). They all come with side effects that can cause long term and short term issues.

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Alcohol – Another tool that may work for some is Alcohol. Alcohol is a vasodilator which means it makes your blood vessels wider which improves blood flow. This can help you maintain an erection. Alcohol also works to desensitize your extremities. This includes your penis; which means with less sensitivity you may last longer. I won’t get into the adverse health effects here but there are a gang of them.

 

Image result for medical marijuana

Marijuana – Man has the American Government done a fantastic job of sullying the good works that this miracle plant (only been illegal since 1970). There is even audio out there where Nixon states that he is making it a higher priority drug because “all the Jews want it legalized”. Here is that audio actually:

If marijuana is legal in your state then this may be what’s going to get you to where you are trying to go. First you need to find out what strains do the job (indica/sativa/hybrid) and you should be on your way.  What I find marijuana to do is help you focus and pay more attention to what you are doing. Thus giving you more control over your body.

 

 

 

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Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 2)

Image result for Rated R

Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:

  1. Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. Lack of Foreplay (Part 2)
  3. ? (Part 3)
  4. ? (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Lack of Foreplay

Image result for foreplay black couple

Foreplay is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as sexual activity that proceeds intercourse.

I would define foreplay as “anything” you do before sexual intercourse to get her in the mood. That includes both physical and mental activities.

Obviously to care about whether or not you want to engage in foreplay depends on the level of respect you have for your partner. If you don’t respect her nor care about her satisfaction, why would you care if she’s in the mood? Because of that fact I know a lot of women who complain about this issue are probably just guilty of having sex with a man they shouldn’t have been with.

This post is for those guys that actually do care about their partners’ satisfaction. They want to ensure that the pool is warm enough for a comfortable swim. I am sure yall know the basics of foreplay but here are some ways you can almost always assure she is ready to do the deed.

Physical Techniques (Low Level)

Image result for kissing black couple

  • Kissing – Kissing is probably the first foreplay tactic we all know about. I mean most of us were definitely kissing before we even thought of having sex.

A good kiss can get the job done, but if you kiss her “everywhere” you’d be able to watch her squirm in anticipation.

Pro Tip: Add melted chocolate to the mix and she will be in a special treat. Chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac and you will note a difference kissing her when she tastes like chocolate!

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  • Massage/Body rub – When I was younger my go to move was always let me give you a massage. It’s funny thinking back on that because I had ZERO training. Hell I still don’t. But being an expert is not a required because all she really needs is your focus and attention.

Fellas just take your time, be firm and touch everything. You could almost hear the engine revving up if you do it right!

Also a good massage oil/candle can go a long way. Women are turned on by preparation and planning so use something other than your mothers baby oil next time.

Links: Massage oil kit – Click Here

Massage Candle – Click Here

  • Cunnilingus – Fellas its 2018 if you aren’t eating pussy survey says YOUR SEX IS TRASH…It can also help with your stamina (I will tell you how in a later post)

Mental Techniques (Low Level)

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  • Conversation – There are a lot of women out there who are more turned on by an intelligent, stress free conversation. This is why it’s important to be able to discuss more than sports, music and politics.
  • Being Clean – If a women is in your presence she wants to feel comfortable, safe and clean. A clean house and body can go a long way to make her feel these things. Fellas just like you want her to be clean and smelling good she wants the same.

Also make sure you get a nice scent for the bedroom. Here are a few of our favorites:

Uomo Intense’ Eau de Parfum – Click Here

Valentino Uomo Intense is a signature fragrance whose intense character is drawn from Italian elegance. It is a contrast of noble and unexpected ingredients with a deep, leather signature. A fusion of mandarin and clary sage give way to the elegance of iris absolute, underlined by a deep black leather note. The fragrance is warmed up with suave notes of vanilla and tonka bean absolute.

Notes: clary sage oil, mandarin, iris, tonka bean, black leather and vanilla bean

La Nuit de l’Homme’ Eau de Toilette – Click Here

La Nuit de l’Homme, the fragrance for men by Yves Saint Laurent. A story of seduction, intensity and bold sensuality. A structure of contrasting forces. A seduction that lies halfway between restraint and abandon. Bright, masculine freshness combines with sophistication and nonchalance for a deep, mysterious and sensual fragrance. Notes: cardamom, cedar and coumarin.

Physical Techniques (High Level)

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  • Toys – Don’t be intimidated by bringing a toy or two into the bedroom with you fellas. Remember the goal is to please her and not expand your ego.

Having said that there are countless toys out there that you can get to help get the car started. A few examples would be feathers, vibrators, finger stimulators, etc…

My favorite are the remote controlled vibrators. If she is adventurous you can use this while apart to drive her crazy. When you get home the works already done.

Link: LOVENSE Lush – Click Here

  • Sex Games – These are great for foreplay and in particular delayed gratification. If you get the right game I guarantee you never make it through it.

Try this one – Click Here

  • Vaginal Massage (fingering) – I am not talking about what you used to do when you were a git. A more mature approach is warranted and when done right can produce magical results.

A few weeks ago I talked about the different sexually stimulated parts of the vagina and how you can stimulate them. (Read here) Probably the best way to stimulate these areas are with your fingers.

The key is to be gentle unless asked to do otherwise. And fellas please make sure your hands are clean, moisturized and nails clipped. You don’t want to cause any issues for her down there.

Mental Parts (High Level)

Image result for Jabari Tribe

Role Playing – for women sex may be a bit more mental than it is for us. That means sometimes you have to switch it up in order to stoke the flames of passion. Get yourself a nice Jabari Tribe vest and watch her lose it.

Image result for fifty shades of grey bed

Bondage – Teasing, delayed gratification and delayed orgasms are pro level tools you can use in the bedroom to take your game to the next level. Bondage is all about those three things. But it takes patience and focus to maximize her enjoyment.

Add a blind fold and that will naturally increase the sensitivity of all of her senses. Make sure you take advantage of that using toys, massage oils, chocolate, whatever she likes and she could never again claim your foreplay lacking.

Now fellas please remember tying her up isn’t an excuse to smash her brains out. Take your time and reap the rewards.

Here is a nice starter set if you are interested

Bondage Set: Click Here

Check me out next week for Part 3 in this series.

If you missed Part 1 Click Here

Posted on

Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 1)

Image result for Rated R

Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:

  1. Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. ? (Part 2)
  3. ? (Part 3)
  4. ? (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Honorable Mention: Penis Size

Surprisingly most women didn’t mark this as a concern. Apparently the “little guys” are finding ways to overcome their deficiency by doing things other than penetration. Their lack of size also is overcome by penetrating from different angles (more on that later). They also apparently are more affectionate which goes a long way for women.

Lack of familiarity with the Vagina

Image result for Treasure hunt

Dealing with a woman’s vagina should not be like a treasure hunt but apparently for some men it is.

 

 

One of my female friends told me that “some men just don’t know where the clitoris is.”…

…that is crazy to me being that it is 2018 but I believe her.

What it tells me is that if you don’t know where the clit is you probably don’t care much for your partner (which happens).

But having said all of that if you STILL don’t know here are two diagrams of the vagina and the sex relevant areas.

Diagram of Vagina’s Erotic Zones Internal
Diagram of Vagina’s Erotic Zones External

 

Now that you can identify the various components of the vagina, you need to know what parts are the relevant pleasure zones during sex. Of the twelve ways a women can orgasm seven potentially involve the vagina (anus included). Those orgasm types are:

  1. Clitoris – Orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris
  2. G-Spot – Orgasm through stimulation of the small spongy area above the vagina wall
  3. Cervix – Orgasm through applying pressure to the Cervix
  4. U-Spot – Orgasm through stimulation of the area around the Urinary Opening (squirting)
  5. Anal ­­– Orgasm through stimulation of the anus
  6. Blended Orgasm – Orgasm through stimulating more than one area at a time
  7. Multiple Orgasms – Multiple orgasms come in two forms: sequential (one right after the other, with rest time in between) and serial (one right after another)

Here are a few video tutorials on how you can help her achieve the big O:

Hand Stimulation Techniques For Explosive Orgasms –

http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/hand-stimulation-techniques-explosive-orgasms/

Basic Tips For Going Down On Her –

G-Spot Orgasms: Tips and Techniques to Stimulate Her –

Now fellas I know you will feel pressure in trying to make her achieve these orgasm types and that would be a mistake. Before you rush off and try to go ham on these Zones make sure you know who your partner is and what she likes. If she isn’t comfortable with her body or not relaxed the achievement of most of these will be next to impossible. You have to ensure that she is relaxed and aroused before you can begin to see results.

Also make sure that everything you do to her body is done with focus and intent. The Focus and Intent should always be about pleasing her. That’s the only real way to ensure that she is satisfied.

 

P.S. Some things you shouldn’t do to the vagina:

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Do Not Bite IT – I have heard women say men have used their teeth during oral sex. Why, why and why? Fellas I doubt that it feels good

Don’t Ignore the Clit – I have also heard the complaint that some men spend a lot of time licking everything BUT the clit during oral sex. Not wise considering that the majority of the nerves in the vagina are located in the clit. Which means she probably doesn’t feel much bro! FOCUS!

Rabbit Sex – Fellas I know you probably have learned most of your sexual technique from porn. Which is fine, most women probably do that same but… Just because you see Wesley Pipes pump her vagina into submission doesn’t mean that’s what works for her. Remember in Porn they shoot for what looks good on camera not for what feels good for her. So the next time you decide you want to beat it up remember, changing up the pace can go a long with towards making her vagina happy!

Tend to your fingers – putting dirty fingers or unclipped nails in her vagina is no Bueno. Your fingernails trap numerous types of bacteria and should be sanitized. Unclipped nails can cause her harm internally. The one thing you don’t want to hear from her is OWWWWW or Ouch. Handle that fellas.

 

 

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Valentine’s Day Tips (Black Men and Romance Part 2)

valentines day love GIF by HULU

Every Valentine’s Day I hear folk on social media shitting on the holiday made for love. The most common phrases are “I don’t celebrate V-day because…” or “V-day was made just for folk to spend more money”.

When I hear those phrases I instantly think that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a women he doesn’t really care for or that she has never really had V-day done properly.

With all that being said I personally LOVE Valentine’s day. It’s like Christmas but with the women as the headliner instead of the kids. It’s the one opportunity within the year that you can justify going all out for her and also find tremendous deals with the V-day packages available.

If you are struggling to figure out what to do for your sweet this V-day don’t fret I got you! Here are three VIP tips that will ensure that she know just how much you care for her on her day!

Provide an Experience

 

What I like to do is find the best bed and breakfast in the area and go! You normally can find a package that throws in Dinner, Champagne, Roses, etc.… For a reasonable price. Also a lot of Bed and Breakfasts are within a reasonable distance of an entertainment center where you can take her to a play, comic show, concert, etc.…

Here is a good source for B&B’s that I use to find what’s available in the area:

Bed and Breakfast.com

Here is a sight that I use to find premium boutique hotels and B&B’s. Excellent properties on here:

Small Luxury Hotels

And if traveling to another city and you want to stay within its core I would use nothing but:

Hotwire

Just put the star level at 4 and up and pick the area that your research tells you there are things to do and hit pay now! It has never let me down in any city that I’ve been in and I am sure you will have similar results.

Pro Tip: Pack her bag while she is at work and pick her up and hit the road. Tell her you are taking her someplace special and she will enjoy the extra surprise.

She only likes gifts?

 

Ok you know your lady and she only accepts gifts and cash on her special days. Don’t worry, I got something for you too.

I know getting gifts can break ya pockets, but it doesn’t have to. There are many websites out there where you can find name brand crap on discount. My favorites are:

Higher End: Gilt.com

Budget: Fashionova

Something Different – Subscription Box

Well there are plenty of these things for women and you can pair these with an experience or another gift. Here are the best imho:

Box of Style

Avenue A | Adidas

Onyx Box

Curl Kit

Posted on

Let me put you on to something!

My G, I saw the most amazing thing last night. I watched this video and it instantly blew my mind and made me want to do better. This video was of a group of women dancing in some secret studio in heaven. And they were dancing to a song that I love by my musical persona the R&B General Tank. Ok I will leave you in suspense no longer, here is the video!

This video was produced by the DYNAMIC Ayila Janell (the fly girl in the middle at the beginning) Now I know you can respect what you just saw. I mean my head exploded about five times during the video. First of all the song choice was right on point with the routine (I bet you didn’t realize they all were doing the same dance routine!). The way they were dressed was all the way 21st century sexy dancer. And the dancers themselves were the best things I’ve ever seen. But the routine itself!!!

NI&&A!!! (Yeah I use the word, I will explain in another post)

I think that’s what we need, fellas. If you can get you a woman that will do that for you when you need it you need to let her be herself and do what she wants to do. And you need to do the cooking and dishes.

Seduction and Sensuality are things that may be missing a lot in our homes; But I know our woman want to have that skill in tow but we have to let them be themselves and open up.  We have to allow them to feel sexy and do sexy things. And then they will do those Seductive and Sensual things that we want. Don’t be a regular dude bruh, be adventurous, spontaneous and flexible for your woman and she will be those things for you.

See some more of these fantastic videos Here:

Ayila Janell

or

Nicole Kirkland

Posted on

Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Only Choose A Black Woman (Part 1)

 

Image result for solange wedding pic

I am not against interracial relationships (I would like to get that out up front). You should be able to choose whomever you want. However I do believe that one of our main issues in this country is the erosion of the black family and community. The reason behind that erosion is well documented, so I will not get into it here. However having said that, if you chose a women that is not of our race it is in my humble opinion a SELFISH act.

I know I know using the word SELFISH in this context seems a bit harsh. But it is not if you understand what the word means. Selfish – characterized by or manifesting concern or care for oneself. “Oneself”. Being a better black man is never about “oneself”. Choosing an “other” because her hair is straight, she isn’t difficult to handle, she stays in her place, etc… is all about YOU and nothing else. Stop being selfish bruh and grow a pair.

I also believe that to repair the damage done to our families/communities it will take an awful lot of SELFLESS actions. One of which should be to choose a black woman. Although that isn’t my main reason that YOU should choose a black woman. That has everything to do with HER and what SHE has done for YOU. Here are my top FIVE reason why YOU should choose a BLACK WOMAN:

1. She is becoming the most educated demographic in the country

  • According to the National Center of Education Statistics there are currently more black women enrolled in college than any other demographic (9.7%).
  • They are twice as more likely to actually graduate from college then YOU are.

Check it out for yourself here: National Center of Education Statistics, Degrees conferred by race and sex

2. Choosing her helps the community

  • Surprisingly our communities are not as strong as they were pre civil rights era. This is due in part to our strong family ties that were extremely matriarchal. Since then both the family and community has eroded. According to the U.S. Census Bureau only 39% of OUR children are growing up with both parents in the household (The percentage of white children is 74%). Just imagine how much better off we would be if both parents raised the majority of our children. I bet both the child and the community would be a lot better off.

Image result for Black Family

 3. She comes in every FLAVOR you can dream of!

  • Some guys choose others for their “exotic” looks, lighter complexions, etc…, thinking that they are better
  • The picture below says it all
  • There is nothing more “exotic” than a black woman. Go get you one!

 4. They are the new standard of beauty

  • Have you taken a look at social media these days? Everywhere you look there are “others” coloring their skin, enhancing their butts, lips, etc..
  • The models, TV and movie stars, etc… Are getting thicker.
  • And just go to this IG group and tell me I am wrong!

IG pages – @adoringblackwomen, @darkskinwomen

5. She has always been there for us

Image result for Black women and family during slavery

  • Our history began on this continent in 1619, when the first ships laden with West African men, women and children arrived in the colonies. A time when they tried to take from us our very identities as human. It was she who told our stories through the generations. It was she who made sure YOU kept your rhythm. She held our families together like NOBODY ELSE COULD.
  • After the age of slavery, while we were off fighting or building the white man’s war machine. It was her who made sure the children were fed. She was there when we returned home. She stood by our side like NOBODY ELSE DID.
  • During the Civil Rights movement she stood on the front lines with us, helped us remain organized, supported our ambitions and also held our families together like NOBODY ELSE DARED.
  • She stood by you when you couldn’t get that factory job and chose to take a chance by selling drugs. She held the family together whilst your wayward ambitions took you away from them like NOBODY ELSE WOULD.
  • She continues to be the only one that you can rely on when you are at your worst and she is just waiting for you to choose her when you become your best…

See a lot of men believe our women of color to be “Difficult”. But what they fail to understand is that our women have been dealing with us and our bullshit for centuries. If you don’t believe that every black women you know carries with her the shared experiences of her ancestors within herself intrinsically you know nothing! So by the time she starts dating one of us she already understands our centuries of baggage. She grows up seeing how we treat our women and expect the same. Then when she dates of few of us we dog her, just as she expected. So by the time YOU reach her at 35 she has not only been born with those centuries of innate hurt. She is then hurt repeatedly by us all 35 YEARS of her life. SO OF COURSE SHE IS DIFFICULT BITCH!!! ( I will take my hands off my hips now lol)

But the “others” weren’t born with the centuries of baggage we have. See their history with us is oh so brief. And that is why sir THEY DON’T DESERVE YOUR LOVE. They just haven’t earned it yet.

I will get into that final point more in part two of this series.

Thank You for your time

Are you ready to be a better man? Fuck with me then!

#Bebetterthanthem