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American Black Men? An international perspective.

Black Men aren’t shit!!! That seems to be a popular sentiment by a lot of black women on social media these days (I live in a black bubble, no idea what the Others are saying)

I don’t want to get into the reasons some of our women feel this way and how some feel compelled to go elsewhere.

What I did do was wonder how women outside of the country felt about black men in America.

Have their experiences been positive with us?

Can they empathize with their American counterparts?

Do they appreciate things in American men that their men may lack?

So I asked a friend of mine to give her take on her experience with American men and with zero prepping by me here was her response. (Btw she’s not talking about me here lol)

KayPee is of Jamaican descent and a citizen of Toronto Canada.

@_kprince_

Dating the American Single Man, a Canadian Tale

I call foul…

I call muthafuckin’ foul…

I need someone to review the tape. Red card the whole lot. Eject these dudes out the muthafuckin game due to unfair advantage!

Sorry…but your girl is irritated, and it’s killing my ego to say why that it is out loud…
Until now…

Me: Hi. I’m KayPee from Canada.

Support group: Hi KayPee.

Me: And I…fucks with American men…
Support group: *sympathetic looks with soft claps and tearful nods* you so brave KayPee…

Why is this an issue you ask?

Well because at this point in my life, Issa too old to force squares into circle spaces, so I try to approach dating logically as opposed to emotionally. Therefore, though I’m fully aware of how challenging it is for two people who want the same thing to find each other, it still doesn’t logically make sense for me to entertain anyone that requires a plane ride or a road trip. I got needs AND I’m a monogamist, two attributes that MUST be reciprocated. So why be unreasonable and expect these attributes from someone who’s long distance to call? Yes, I know it’s not impossible (I’m aware people do it successfully every day) but is it worth the stress? No. I think…

But FUCKKKKK….here I am.
Still fucking with these bloodclot yankees.

I’m irritated yo, as they continue to knock down my wall of reality and I KNOW I ain’t easy. But here, here are four damn reasons why y’all need to send my ass thoughts and prayers. Four reasons why I grudgingly welcome the American invasion:

1) Pick up game strong AF

My local options fail at this time and time and muthafuckin time again. Yes, I agree that approaching a complete stranger and vocalizing interest is stressful, like public speaking. But…
Cry me a river. We live in a patriarchal society so you’ll have enough tissues of injustices to wipe your tears presently and in the future. Buck up.

But seriously, I’ve had my experience with horrible approaches. The first, the I-look-like-I’m-having-a-stroke-stare. Nevermind that this type of phenomenon is not subtle and comes off as creepy, but conducting an open-mouth, emotionless stare without not even a smile, looking like your face is frozen due to an internal health emergency and not blinking, is NOT COOL regardless of how attractive you may be. Serial killers are known to be good looking at times, so if I’m unsure whether or not you want to murder me by the look on your face, it ain’t a good approach sir.

But mainly there’s the indirect approach, anything to avoid just good old fashion moving they gawd damn feet in the direction of the woman they are attracted to. I’ve had niglets search and find me on social media talking about “I saw you last night at the party and…” blah blah. Or their friend will do the work and say ‘my friend wanna talk to you’ and points out they ass in some far off corner, eyeing at me through leaves of a potted plant. How can I “respect” that bruh?

Now those damn yanks? They will straight up let you know of their interest by giving you proper bedroom-eyes stare and/or smile. And they don’t leave it to chance by sending a friend. Nah bee they rolling up asking you your drink order, working the fuck outta first impressions. It seems a pretty basic way to start the process of meeting someone, but yanks get it right and locals be so so wrong.

2) Strong Reject Recovery

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to prepare myself to possibly have to fight a local dude whom I was not interested in. I’m sure I’m not alone in this outcome, thanks toxic masculinity! As I’ve implied above, I’m aware of how stressful and discouraging that walking up to a complete stranger can be. Though I have done the approaching at times in my life (it’s 2019 y’all) there’s definitely more of an expectation for the dude to do it; granted. Saying that, even when a local dude manages to move his ass towards me, if I’m uninterested which SINGLE WOMEN ARE ALLOWED TO BE, why the subsequent vitriol? The rude response? The mild temper tantrum? I choose to blame Drake, as though he may be really in touch with his feelings, I feel he knowingly/unknowingly gives ammunition to local dudes to feel entitled to only positive responses to their approach, or otherwise act like children and sulk. All I owe anyone is respect, even when I am uninterested. So a respectful “no thank you” should be the end of it, instead of “well that’s why you’re single” REAL LIFE RESPONSE! AND NOT THE WORST ONE! N*gga do you know me? I outta cut you…

Now to them yanks…so they approach as they do, but you’re just not interested. They accept the answer (after some further efforts, cuz they can’t possibly accept the first ‘no’, the cheeky bastards) with no bitterness, but how in the H-E-double hockey sticks did this seducer leave me considering whether or not I could have possibly made the wrong decision? It’s hard to pinpoint, and maybe it’s me and I’m used to having to prepare to a mace a disgruntled suitor, but a yankee never acts rejected! They usually give you some kind of parting compliment…”well girl you still beautiful AF” or “well at least take my card in the event you change your mind” or some parting joke that have you laughing like a hyena before you realize *poof*, ‘where he go’? Then if you’re still at the same event, he’ll make sure to playfully keep bumping into you or send you “eyes” (not creeper eyes) even though you said no. If I was to guess, this outcome is a reflection of their feelings of self-worth…they know they the shit, confident in what they bring to the table….so a ‘no’ from a complete stranger no matter how attracted they may be to them, ain’t gonna dent their armour. I’ve tried to have this conversation with my male friends…like ‘who am I’ who says ‘no’? Significant enough to destroy your self-esteem?! Absolutely, no. Don’t give anyone that power over you, including my fine self 😉.

3) The Chase

So when fake-Drake does the unthinkable and approaches me resulting in a positive end, why does he then commence operation “sit on his ass”?

Again, here’s another situation where I wish the stats proving that beautiful, worthy women outnumbering men in collosal amounts would show itself.

How else do you explain the nearly immediate coma that takes over when they “get the girl”?

I had an older gentleman leave me speechless, and I usually have a rebuttal for everything. After he successfully “got the girl” we experienced difficulty syncing our schedules and actually meeting up. Knowing that he was legit a busy man with a job that required crazy hours and travelling, I suggested that I could come meet him during lunch near his place of work. We met, had a cool time, then recommenced our dance of syncing schedules to arrange date #2.

After numerous empty forgotten promises, and dates followed by cancelations, it became evident that he truly was too busy to be pursuing anything at that time, in my opinion. So I just amicably ‘gave up’, no animosity, it is what it is. Then some time later he sprung up asking “what happened”. What happened? Was he not “there” during our multiple conversations and no-shows?

So I just laughed it off and told him to holla when his schedule free’d up so I wouldn’t have to chase him around the city. This ingrate responded to me, ‘you call that a chase’? I almost headbutt my cell phone. So I just read the message and didn’t respond. The ingrate re-sent the message after not hearing back from me and added question marks after it. Are you dumb? “What do you want from me?!”-Tyrese.

American gentlemen take care of the rotation, and yes, hate to break it to some ladies but regardless of the location, until we both agree to be exclusive organically (not by ultimatum), we all are in each other’s “rotation”. But the americans don’t make you feel that way, or at least give the correct amount of attention and intention to get to know you and stop you from getting into your feelings. The texts, the actual phonecalls, facetiming and successfully implementing ACTUAL PLANS to see each other. And these bastards fly you out, end. Of. Story. Not because they rich, but they appear willing to show some effort before concluding yeah or nay.

Who fights against reciprocating in such a situation? Not I. And I think also since they’re so damn territorial, they aint finished with you until THEY finished with you so hell yeah they gonna take up your time making it harder for some other dude to insert themselves.

Pretty basic actions when I re-read this, but still, the score is Canadians 0, American men 1212 in this department. Even situations that haven’t worked out in the past have been due to the amicable discovery of non-negotiables or difference of wants/needs, not due to any lack of effort. You get what you put in. Simple.

4) Talking about putting it in

Sex with an American dude…That is all.
Ok I’ll give a little, JUST a little because I don’t like gassing up dudes I ain’t messing with such as potentially YOU, the random, unknown reader. But yeah, I didn’t know how much I’d love a man’s hand around my neck……until an American put his hand around my neck. And his chat game during the act…good lordt. I’d say because they are typically very direct and confident these same attributes show up in ALL areas. Whew, can someone open a window or something…Jesus.

Now I’m not saying that all the locals here can’t fuck. But I’m saying my experience has been better across the border. Could be a fluke. Or not.
Again, someone open a god damn window or turn on a fan, please and thank you.

I’m saying no more. #ISaidWhatISaid

5) Warranted Submission

Now I would consider myself a feminist and an admirer of the black woman and all her layers and strengths. But as I’ve said numerous times to local guys here, even the strongest and most independent woman deep down would gladly submit to the right man, I don’t care what her mouth says. Hell I would in a heartbeat, because submission is a strength not a weakness. It’s an immense responsibility and act of incredible trust when a woman who could do all bad by herself let’s a man lead in the current climate, and that’s why it takes more than basic efforts to relinquish that power and appoint that position. It’s like a woman conducting the medieval ceremony of knighting a man…saying ‘I can do anything and have done everything, but I trust YOU to take charge’.

The American men ive experienced will NOT ALLOW WOMEN to take the lead. I tried to do so numerous times out of habit, not based on some agenda to emasculate him, and have been metaphorically slapped into “my place” (it’s getting hot in here once again). While my local prospects remain arguing on message boards on why women should go dutch on dates and how many coffee dates warrants a ‘real’ date and how many years it takes to get a christmas gift, this southern yankee told me once that if I dared open my own passenger car door again that he’d spank me in the parking lot. I know some women struggle with this sort of ‘leadership’, and I get why. We hear submission and we think “ownership”, while a REAL dude (in this case, my American dudes) thinks “responsibility”. And the locals hear this and think this submission occurs as a result of how much money an American dude may have and/or prepared to spend on a woman. All I can say is that’s not it, and talk to your successful capadres on the real deal. I dunno how to explain it, but I’ve just experienced it and NEVER from a non-American man. Maybe it’s a result of the immense patriotism to their country and/or loyalty to their block (i.e. “Detroit vs Everybody”) which translates to responsibility and sense of accountability towards whom they are dating. I’m sorry if my explanation is vague for this point…you gotta “be there” I guess. Regardless, my dear locals, take notes please.

Now listen. Though all these points are integral to my comparison of American vs my local men, it is not intended to be a blueprint to a guaranteed successful relationship. Case in point, your girl is still single, so my Canadian sisters, don’t go digging in your couches looking for airfare. American man checking off all the above boxes does not guarantee a good boyfriend or husband. But to me the above is BASIC material which my locals fail at miserably, all the gawd damn time.

Why? I dunno…maybe we women outnumber dudes so much down here that there’s little incentive to act right. For every ‘me’ maybe there’s 20 other ‘me’, prettier and funnier and willing to accept less and put up with more. *shrugs* Supply and demand, can’t argue economics no matter how it’s principles are applied. But these principals remain and are real at least for me, hence why I employ my sense of logic…

Stay AWAY from the Americans KayPee.
Stay AWAY from the American men KayPee.
Stay AWAY from the…
…
BRB, long-distance call coming through…
Chat lata,
KayPee

I wanna know, especially from those women in other countries. What has your experience been?

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Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 4)

Image result for Rated R

Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better myself I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom

  1. Lack of familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. Lack of Foreplay (Part 2)
  3. Finish to Quickly (Part 3)
  4. Erectile Dysfunction (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Erectile Dysfunction

When I was in grad school down in Melbourne Florida I needed money and the only job I could find was with a telemarketing company. Now I wasn’t worried about phone work and data entry work because I had held numerous jobs in the past the required those skills. But I didn’t actually have sales experience, nor did I have any experience with the product we were selling…

Maxiderm – Studies show that Maxiderm and Expand will improve your sexual performance through increased libido along with stronger erections, heightened orgasms, increased size, and more stamina. Many of the men using Maxiderm cream and Expand report increases in size of up to 28%.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man I low key loved that job. It was straight sales and I found out I had a knack for it. Probably because I am a Gemini! But I want to tell yall a secret….

Don’t put that shit on ya dick homes!!! It’s a waste of money if you are dealing with erectile dysfunction or lacking in the size department. Gentleman there isn’t a cream out there that will handle that problem for you. Especially for $90 a pop and all that other shit you are going to agree to that you don’t know about!

But here are a few things that may help you guys out with we all know is an OBVIOUS issue (and one I will probably be dealing with soon with the bad karma I’ve stored up lol), Erectile Dysfunction.

Medication

  • Medication therapy is extremely effective in augmenting the quality of man’s erection such that he is able to have satisfactory intercourse. Indeed medications referred to as phospho-diesterase inhibitors such as Cialis, Viagra, Levitra and Stendra work in 65% of men suffering from erectile dysfunction. Cialis is currently the preferred drug since it is the only one that may be taking on a full stomach and lasts for 36 hours. This favors a more romantic and natural sexual interaction. Planning kills the mood!However, studies have shown that fewer then 50% of men with ED and Diabetes respond to oral medicines. Also,fewer than 35% of men with ED after prostate cancer surgery respond to oral medicines. For these men the Internal Penile Implant is currently the best option. The Penile Implant is an approved medical option that has been used for over 30 years. During the course of a 45-minute outpatient procedure, the pump is inserted through a small one-inch opening in the scrotal sac. By squeezing the pump, fluid is pumped, resulting in a long lasting erection. Once inserted, there is no maintenance required for the pump and can remain in place for a lifetime.

External Devices

  • Other treatment options such as penile self-injection therapy, external vacuum pumps and the medicated urethral system for erection are in rare occasions an effective long-term treatment. Only a very small percentage of men will continue with these treatments as evidenced by a very high drop out rate and a very low refill rate. These treatments require extensive planning which interferes with spontaneity. This may be the reason why the refill rate is so low and the drop out of treatment so high.

Internal Penile Pump (Penile Implant)

  • Men who do not respond or tolerate oral medications are best treated with an internal penile pump (IPP) commonly known as an inflatable implant. The Internal Penile Pump is an inflatable, water-filled device. During the course of a 45-minute outpatient procedure, the pump is inserted through a one-inch opening in the scrotal sac. By squeezing the pump, (which is contained completely within the scrotum), for approximately a minute, fluid is pumped into the penis, resulting in a long lasting erection. To return the penis to its flaccid state, simply press and hold down the pump. Once inserted, there is no maintenance required for the pump, which can remain in place for a lifetime. Couples are once again able to have spontaneous sex. Normal sensation including orgasm and ejaculation are not affected.

That information was courtesy of www.urologicalcare.com

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Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 3)

Image result for Rated R

Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:

  1. Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. Lack of Foreplay (Part 2)
  3. Finishing to Quickly (Part 3)
  4. ? (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Finishing to Quickly

I remember growing up and hearing the “1 Minute Man” song by Missy Elliot and thinking that I NEVER wanna be that guy!

Just the way the song starts alone:

Ooh, I don’t want I don’t need I can’t stand no minute man
I don’t want no minute man
Ooh, here’s your chance be a man take my hand understand
I don’t want no minute man

It sounded exactly like the thing that would have women running away from you and who wants that? So I always strived to last longer than a minute.

Having said that I definitely have dealt with those moments when I came up short. There was this one time that I finally got to get with my long time crush….

… I decided not to tell that story. It wasnt a  good for your boy! Lol

I doubt that any guy that actually cares about his partner is busting off fast on purpose. Men suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) for many reasons. They can be too sensitive, anxious and in some cases don’t know when they are cumming until it’s too late!

Here are a few techniques you can use to keep the kids from leaving the building too early:

 

Trojan Pleasures Extended Duration Enhancing Lubricated Latex Condoms - 12 ct

Use a thicker condom – if you have an issue with too much sensitivity this may work for you. Stop buying “thin” or “skin like” condoms. What you want is a thicker condom to decrease sensitivity and hopefully help you last longer.

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Take your time (stop/start method) – Remember the goal is her satisfaction gentlemen. You are a dude and should get yours regardless so it isn’t a race to see who finishes first.

When you feel yourself getting to the point where you are going to cum. STOP. Now a doctor would tell you to resume after around 30 to 60 seconds. When you feel like you are going to cum again STOP. Keep doing this over and over again and it should improve your stamina going into future sessions.

I know stopping and starting can be awkward and annoying to your partner. So what I like to do is communicate exactly why I am stopping and then instead of waiting 30/60 seconds to begin again I just do something else like putting on a bib and going to work!

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Squeeze method – The same as the start/stop method but instead of pulling out and waiting you squeeze your penis to cut off the flow. If done in time you can stop the eruption. Problem with this method is your erection may go with it. Make sure you are turned on enough where that doesn’t happen if you wanna try this method.

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Pills and Ointments – Don’t use them unless there is no other hope (erectile dysfunction or something). They all come with side effects that can cause long term and short term issues.

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Alcohol – Another tool that may work for some is Alcohol. Alcohol is a vasodilator which means it makes your blood vessels wider which improves blood flow. This can help you maintain an erection. Alcohol also works to desensitize your extremities. This includes your penis; which means with less sensitivity you may last longer. I won’t get into the adverse health effects here but there are a gang of them.

 

Image result for medical marijuana

Marijuana – Man has the American Government done a fantastic job of sullying the good works that this miracle plant (only been illegal since 1970). There is even audio out there where Nixon states that he is making it a higher priority drug because “all the Jews want it legalized”. Here is that audio actually:

If marijuana is legal in your state then this may be what’s going to get you to where you are trying to go. First you need to find out what strains do the job (indica/sativa/hybrid) and you should be on your way.  What I find marijuana to do is help you focus and pay more attention to what you are doing. Thus giving you more control over your body.

 

 

 

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Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 2)

Image result for Rated R

Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:

  1. Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. Lack of Foreplay (Part 2)
  3. ? (Part 3)
  4. ? (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Lack of Foreplay

Image result for foreplay black couple

Foreplay is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as sexual activity that proceeds intercourse.

I would define foreplay as “anything” you do before sexual intercourse to get her in the mood. That includes both physical and mental activities.

Obviously to care about whether or not you want to engage in foreplay depends on the level of respect you have for your partner. If you don’t respect her nor care about her satisfaction, why would you care if she’s in the mood? Because of that fact I know a lot of women who complain about this issue are probably just guilty of having sex with a man they shouldn’t have been with.

This post is for those guys that actually do care about their partners’ satisfaction. They want to ensure that the pool is warm enough for a comfortable swim. I am sure yall know the basics of foreplay but here are some ways you can almost always assure she is ready to do the deed.

Physical Techniques (Low Level)

Image result for kissing black couple

  • Kissing – Kissing is probably the first foreplay tactic we all know about. I mean most of us were definitely kissing before we even thought of having sex.

A good kiss can get the job done, but if you kiss her “everywhere” you’d be able to watch her squirm in anticipation.

Pro Tip: Add melted chocolate to the mix and she will be in a special treat. Chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac and you will note a difference kissing her when she tastes like chocolate!

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  • Massage/Body rub – When I was younger my go to move was always let me give you a massage. It’s funny thinking back on that because I had ZERO training. Hell I still don’t. But being an expert is not a required because all she really needs is your focus and attention.

Fellas just take your time, be firm and touch everything. You could almost hear the engine revving up if you do it right!

Also a good massage oil/candle can go a long way. Women are turned on by preparation and planning so use something other than your mothers baby oil next time.

Links: Massage oil kit – Click Here

Massage Candle – Click Here

  • Cunnilingus – Fellas its 2018 if you aren’t eating pussy survey says YOUR SEX IS TRASH…It can also help with your stamina (I will tell you how in a later post)

Mental Techniques (Low Level)

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  • Conversation – There are a lot of women out there who are more turned on by an intelligent, stress free conversation. This is why it’s important to be able to discuss more than sports, music and politics.
  • Being Clean – If a women is in your presence she wants to feel comfortable, safe and clean. A clean house and body can go a long way to make her feel these things. Fellas just like you want her to be clean and smelling good she wants the same.

Also make sure you get a nice scent for the bedroom. Here are a few of our favorites:

Uomo Intense’ Eau de Parfum – Click Here

Valentino Uomo Intense is a signature fragrance whose intense character is drawn from Italian elegance. It is a contrast of noble and unexpected ingredients with a deep, leather signature. A fusion of mandarin and clary sage give way to the elegance of iris absolute, underlined by a deep black leather note. The fragrance is warmed up with suave notes of vanilla and tonka bean absolute.

Notes: clary sage oil, mandarin, iris, tonka bean, black leather and vanilla bean

La Nuit de l’Homme’ Eau de Toilette – Click Here

La Nuit de l’Homme, the fragrance for men by Yves Saint Laurent. A story of seduction, intensity and bold sensuality. A structure of contrasting forces. A seduction that lies halfway between restraint and abandon. Bright, masculine freshness combines with sophistication and nonchalance for a deep, mysterious and sensual fragrance. Notes: cardamom, cedar and coumarin.

Physical Techniques (High Level)

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  • Toys – Don’t be intimidated by bringing a toy or two into the bedroom with you fellas. Remember the goal is to please her and not expand your ego.

Having said that there are countless toys out there that you can get to help get the car started. A few examples would be feathers, vibrators, finger stimulators, etc…

My favorite are the remote controlled vibrators. If she is adventurous you can use this while apart to drive her crazy. When you get home the works already done.

Link: LOVENSE Lush – Click Here

  • Sex Games – These are great for foreplay and in particular delayed gratification. If you get the right game I guarantee you never make it through it.

Try this one – Click Here

  • Vaginal Massage (fingering) – I am not talking about what you used to do when you were a git. A more mature approach is warranted and when done right can produce magical results.

A few weeks ago I talked about the different sexually stimulated parts of the vagina and how you can stimulate them. (Read here) Probably the best way to stimulate these areas are with your fingers.

The key is to be gentle unless asked to do otherwise. And fellas please make sure your hands are clean, moisturized and nails clipped. You don’t want to cause any issues for her down there.

Mental Parts (High Level)

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Role Playing – for women sex may be a bit more mental than it is for us. That means sometimes you have to switch it up in order to stoke the flames of passion. Get yourself a nice Jabari Tribe vest and watch her lose it.

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Bondage – Teasing, delayed gratification and delayed orgasms are pro level tools you can use in the bedroom to take your game to the next level. Bondage is all about those three things. But it takes patience and focus to maximize her enjoyment.

Add a blind fold and that will naturally increase the sensitivity of all of her senses. Make sure you take advantage of that using toys, massage oils, chocolate, whatever she likes and she could never again claim your foreplay lacking.

Now fellas please remember tying her up isn’t an excuse to smash her brains out. Take your time and reap the rewards.

Here is a nice starter set if you are interested

Bondage Set: Click Here

Check me out next week for Part 3 in this series.

If you missed Part 1 Click Here

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Lets Talk About Black Panther (The Movie)

******Spoiler Free******

Black Panther is probably the Best Black or Superhero or Action movie I have ever seen.

I say this because it’s probably the only movie I have seen where every single BLACK Character was sooooooo Black, Strong, Intelligent, Passionate, Reasonable and a fawking bad ass. I mean everybody is an inspiration from the Villain (Killmonger) down to the Kings Guard (Dora Milaje). Everybody is passionate, fierce and very authentic. It’s a Joy.

Have you ever watched a movie that gets better after you’ve seen it?

Well that has been my experience with Black Panther. I just keep realizing all kinds of things I miss. It is great.

Having said all that, this post is less about the movie and more about the inspiration that I drew from each character. I will try to describe these with no spoilers. Although some may slip out…

 

Wakanda:

Wakanda – Black Panther 

Yes, this is indeed a character in the movie. The fictional Nation stands in as that beacon to what we should strive to be as a people. It’s a community that began as fractionalized tribes that have been united under a king with a true community Identity.

It also doesn’t hurt that it’s probably the richest nation in the world. That’s been sitting on technological marvels for centuries. Just black excellence personified.

It’s inspiring because the only time I’ve seen a black kingdom depicted nearly to this extent was in “Coming to America”.

Zumunda Palace – Coming to America

Coming to America was a big inspiration to me as a child. But Wakanda is an entirely different beast. The music, the colors, the outfits all were amazing and felt authentic. The culture is on full display and I loved it!

 

Dora Milaje:

Man o Man first of all the idea of a King or Boss being guarded by women has been seen in other movies, shows, etc.… But when have you ever expected that to be effective?

Well these women not only are extremely dangerous, fierce and disciplined they are also loyal, effective and extremely beautiful.

I cannot wait for our kids to see these women in action. They are Black Girl Magic personified and I love them.

That leads me to their Commander

 

General Okoye (Danai Gurira):

 

Michone killed it. She was perfectly cast as the leader of the Dora Milaje. And her strength was apparent as soon as she entered the frame.

What I liked about her character the most is that she screams strong black women without the stereotypical angry black women angle. She respects her king and country and is extremely loyal to both and it shows. I imagine our little girls and woman will gain inspiration from her. She is a superhero without powers.

 

M’Baku (Winston Duke):

 

This man manages a people who are isolated within an isolated/hidden country. He has immense pressure on him and you can tell that he is eager to usher his people into the light. Hence his challenge for the throne.

I admire his courage. He tried it, failed and then made the adult decision to do what was right.

 

Nakia (Lupita Nyong’o):

She reminds me the most of a bunch of the women in my life. That one women in your city who is independently waging war against social justices. I’ve known women in every city I’ve lived in (Around 7).

That’s Nakia and she is a beast at what she does and has sacrificed much to do so. She finds strength in her independence and you never feel like she’s disloyal. Probably the most “Human” character, very relatable.

 

Shuri (Letitia Wright)

 

Show Stealer. Not only is she arguably the most intelligent person in the Marvel Comics Universe (MCU). She is extremely funny. Provided the most comic relief in the movie.

She is inspirational because it shows kids that you can be Smart, Different and Proud whilst also being black. Its a beautiful thing and executed perfectly.

 

Erik Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan):

 

We have had a lot of villains in our movies…

…There’s Shonuf from The Last Dragon, Simon Caine from Meteor Man and Stephan from Django. But man I doubt there has ever been a villain like Killmonger in the Black Panther.

As a black man I don’t know of a more relatable villain. I mean it was extremely hard not to empathize with him because everything he said in the movie was REAL. The only thing that kept me from rooting for him in the movie were his harsh actions throughout the movie. But man you can’t fault him for that either considering the circumstances. His performance was fantastic and just black. I loved all of the Oakland references too.

I was extremely inspired by his focus. He worked his way all the way from the bottom and almost reached his goal. And Michael B Jordan has inspired ya boy to hit the gym.

Also I loved the interactions between his character and T’Challah. Just imagine a kid from the hoods in Oakland growing up to challenge an all-powerful African king and all that entails. The slang, swagger all that. And then consider T ’Challah’s Regalness it’s just fascinating stuff.

 

T’Challah (Chadwich Boseman):

 

The Glue that makes it all fit. Most people will walk away from the movie thinking that some of the other characters outshined the main protagonist Black Panther. And they may be right. But….

….They are definitely wrong. Chadwich Boseman was able to play a superhero who’s every decision cannot really be questioned. He plays a king who has character and the respect of his people in a world where the African Kings on the forefront are portrayed as corrupt and heartless.

The strength of his acting allowed the other stars to shine next to him and I think he just made everybody better. Everybody hit their marks and Bozeman was in practically every scene. And just the Honor and Integrity that he showed without was just an inspiration.

Of every Character I personally most identify with T’Challah. Because I feel like a man burdened with the responsibility to help his people. And if you are reading this I think you probably feel the same.

In Conclusion folks I loved the movie (if you couldn’t tell). I also love the event that we have made out of it. Not because it’s a black movie but because the movie actually deserves it. I cannot see any reason why you and your family won’t enjoy this movie so please support.

Lets continue to get better together! #Being a Better Black Man

P.S. Go ahead and listen to the Soundtrack for Black Panther it is FIRE and sooooo appropriate.

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What to do if the world ends? (Black Men and Survival)

 

This weekend I watched an excellent News Expose by VICE called “A World in Disarray” (Link Here). It’s a special report aimed at showing you those regions in the world that could spark WWIII and how the U.S. is involved. Needless to say we are close to serious conflict on many fronts and shit could pop off at any moment.

What you also see in this documentary is the extreme loss of civilian life during these conflicts. You see cities and families destroyed and it made me realize something…

… If WWIII were to pop off and the conflict lands on U.S. soil I would have ZERO idea what to do. I haven’t the slighted idea how to survive during a war. I would be just as hapless as those Rwandan/Sudanese/Syrian refugee. And I would also be relying solely on the government/military to survive.

I don’t like that and you shouldn’t either.

I also came to the realization that as a whole folk don’t have the skills to survive in a post war world. What if there was a nuclear war? What if your state was besieged? What if half the population died in a year from a Virus and civilization as we know it ends?

Yeah I don’t know if id survive either. All of the skills I have are mostly only useful in a modern society where conflict doesn’t exist on the level of the Middle East for example. I imagine that most of us don’t have those old world skills of survival and that’s a problem.

Here are things you need to know in order to survive if the world ends:

Step 1: Take Everything into Consideration

1. Know the area.Is it safe for you move into a different territory? Does it have fallout shelters or reliable sources of supplies? Of course, planning ahead can be most reliable because if a person knows everything about a place, it can be an advantage point. The following are the two common environments of survival, urban and rural. Both are discussed in the following steps.

2. Be aware that urban cultures prove very difficult living conditions during prewar, wartime, and postwar times.The huge population living in a city can’t always run from war. Sickness, disease, low supplies, and no food or water make conditions terrible to live in. However, there is an advantage to being in an urban area; empty homes and buildings provide concealment and cover, and they can hold large camps for soldiers or civilians caught up in the violence. You can also build anything from materials found or recycled from homes, which can protect a city or build more camps when the area is under siege. Disadvantages include:

  • Panic is obviously an issue, and while ridiculous and unorganized, it happens. (Applies to early hours.).
  • There may be hundreds, possibly millions, of dead people; this presents a problem for health, and it smells too. (Applies all the time.).
  • The place is a magnet for survivors. (Applies after things have settled down.)
  • The debris left behind is a recipe for a very noisy day. (Applies after things have settled down.)
  • Looters are everywhere. (Applies all the time.)

3. Know what to expect in a rural environment. This is where food is made, raw materials are produced, military bases are built, and the greatest weapon mankind has made, nukes, are in the rural zone, one of the most safest places you can be (for a while). The low density makes it ideal for survival, but the skill and knowledge that people know in the rural zone makes it difficult for urban survivors, unless, you can match that. The advantages include:

  • Food is produced here, thus allowing a source of food. (Applies depending on conditions).
  • Bombs have very low chance of hitting here, unless a nuclear silo is present. (Applies rarely, depending on conditions.)
  • The raw materials are usually produced here. (Applies depending on conditions.)
  • Somebody is bound to know some sort of skill that aids survival. (Applies depending on area present.)

4. Be aware of the disadvantages of the rural situation too. These includes:

  • Living near a nuclear silo. (Just get out of there.)
  • Looters that may or may not have experience on the rural zone. (Applies depending on conditions.)
  • An ideal place for any sort of survivor. (Applies all the time.)

5. Consider the population. The population, or pop. for short, is an important factor. Start studying the people who live in your area. Are they psychopaths? Kleptomaniacs? Survivalists? Extremists? Whatever they may be, learning the nature of the people is important. You never know if they have some sort of skill you don’t know or maybe they have a history of something that can be potentially lethal.

6. Plan things out. History shows that a well thought out plan often has success. Through demonstrations, it is proven true. It holds true to this day. So start planning for the incoming war(s). Take in everything in consideration. The following are examples:

  • The resource is abundant in the pre-war phase, so you need to take this while you still can. Find as many people you trust as you can.
  • So little can be found in the war zone. You need as many supplies as possible to survive, but don’t focus on just gathering supplies; focus on finding a reliable source of supply production too.
  • Somebody needs to have a skill on something, otherwise the group can’t survive enough.
Stars and stripes on gun

Step 2: Arming Up

Good, now for some reason(s), your area is fit for survival. You need to start hiring somebody to get started. This section will help you benefit from early preparations.

Start hiring. You need people to help you survive a war. Sometimes you need someone who has a survival skill you need.

1. Adopt brand new skills. Skills that can give you invaluable survival abilities are very important. The following recommended list of skills are useful to learn:

  • For Home: Maintenance, management, first aid and construction.
  • For fighting others: Gun knowledge, close range experience, and tactics mastery.

2. Get your weapons. A weapon is essential for the war. Remember these words: Simple weapons are better than paramilitary weapons.

3. Be aware! Anything can happen, for example: Russia and U.S. have territorial disputes over the Antarctic Ocean. Even the tiniest thing can trigger a World Wide War that spans over Europe.

 

Step 3: What to do in The War

The war has just begun and you have successfully managed to put together a team of survivalists. Now, but the question is: Do you have what it takes to survive?

1. Get out of the way. The war begins, shots and screams fill the air, and death begins raining upon all like arrows shooting down to Leonidas and the 300 Spartans. The first hours of chaos shall be marked with mass looting and shooting. The best way to escape such madness is following Survival Rule 3 and eventually, you would be V.I.S. of chaos.

2. Survive! Surviving the first hours is just the beginning, the real chaos ensues when the enemy versus your country begins, and there is almost no telling if the war will end until then, survival is a must.

  • Form alliances. Whether friends, family or enemies, forming alliances will help your survival, they will help you in times of need and you must help them in times of need.
  • Keep in contact with your guys. Your country will do as much as possible to help you, and your team when they occupy the area. Take as many resources with you before they are pushed back by the enemy.
  • It is the most riskiest attempt to gather resources, it is the most likely way of you getting killed by a man/woman/child and worst of all, it can put your head on a “Wanted” poster.
  • Resistance against the enemy. The most likely way to be killed by a machine gunner of your enemy. Resistance can be deadly if you’re living in an area occupied by the enemy.

Step 4: After the War

You survived. The war has been won or lost, either way, it is the best time for you to start a new life somewhere. The aim of this section is to restore your sanity, and help you survive in a brand new harsh terrain.

1. Make sure of it.Is the enemy really gone at all? Before you raise your hopes up, try checking it first. Many people who thought the war was over often were met with death. So try to check first.

2. Restore your sanity. Restore it by doing things you did before the war. Such as reading a book you liked before the war started, limiting your stress, having some fun with the surviving members of your group, having alone time and overall, having some fun. Anything that can help you calm your nerves after long fought war.

3. Make your decision. Although you may have survived, it is not yet over. Like WW2, some soldiers of your country or your enemies are still combating the survivors (For example, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_holdout) on the destroyed terrain. You need to choose whether to stay and fight or run and hide. You could consider the benefits and problems that might/may occur but it’s your decision, and you must choose one.

  1. Make your plan, again. Depending on your choice, a plan is required to pull your action to battles. Just be careful. You’re not the only veteran.
  2. You did it! You survived the war! Rejoice! A war of a magnitude this large may never happen again, or will it?

Courtesy of Wikihow – How to Survive a War

 

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Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 1)

Image result for Rated R

Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:

  1. Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. ? (Part 2)
  3. ? (Part 3)
  4. ? (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Honorable Mention: Penis Size

Surprisingly most women didn’t mark this as a concern. Apparently the “little guys” are finding ways to overcome their deficiency by doing things other than penetration. Their lack of size also is overcome by penetrating from different angles (more on that later). They also apparently are more affectionate which goes a long way for women.

Lack of familiarity with the Vagina

Image result for Treasure hunt

Dealing with a woman’s vagina should not be like a treasure hunt but apparently for some men it is.

 

 

One of my female friends told me that “some men just don’t know where the clitoris is.”…

…that is crazy to me being that it is 2018 but I believe her.

What it tells me is that if you don’t know where the clit is you probably don’t care much for your partner (which happens).

But having said all of that if you STILL don’t know here are two diagrams of the vagina and the sex relevant areas.

Diagram of Vagina’s Erotic Zones Internal
Diagram of Vagina’s Erotic Zones External

 

Now that you can identify the various components of the vagina, you need to know what parts are the relevant pleasure zones during sex. Of the twelve ways a women can orgasm seven potentially involve the vagina (anus included). Those orgasm types are:

  1. Clitoris – Orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris
  2. G-Spot – Orgasm through stimulation of the small spongy area above the vagina wall
  3. Cervix – Orgasm through applying pressure to the Cervix
  4. U-Spot – Orgasm through stimulation of the area around the Urinary Opening (squirting)
  5. Anal ­­– Orgasm through stimulation of the anus
  6. Blended Orgasm – Orgasm through stimulating more than one area at a time
  7. Multiple Orgasms – Multiple orgasms come in two forms: sequential (one right after the other, with rest time in between) and serial (one right after another)

Here are a few video tutorials on how you can help her achieve the big O:

Hand Stimulation Techniques For Explosive Orgasms –

http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/hand-stimulation-techniques-explosive-orgasms/

Basic Tips For Going Down On Her –

G-Spot Orgasms: Tips and Techniques to Stimulate Her –

Now fellas I know you will feel pressure in trying to make her achieve these orgasm types and that would be a mistake. Before you rush off and try to go ham on these Zones make sure you know who your partner is and what she likes. If she isn’t comfortable with her body or not relaxed the achievement of most of these will be next to impossible. You have to ensure that she is relaxed and aroused before you can begin to see results.

Also make sure that everything you do to her body is done with focus and intent. The Focus and Intent should always be about pleasing her. That’s the only real way to ensure that she is satisfied.

 

P.S. Some things you shouldn’t do to the vagina:

Image result for Women crying stop

Do Not Bite IT – I have heard women say men have used their teeth during oral sex. Why, why and why? Fellas I doubt that it feels good

Don’t Ignore the Clit – I have also heard the complaint that some men spend a lot of time licking everything BUT the clit during oral sex. Not wise considering that the majority of the nerves in the vagina are located in the clit. Which means she probably doesn’t feel much bro! FOCUS!

Rabbit Sex – Fellas I know you probably have learned most of your sexual technique from porn. Which is fine, most women probably do that same but… Just because you see Wesley Pipes pump her vagina into submission doesn’t mean that’s what works for her. Remember in Porn they shoot for what looks good on camera not for what feels good for her. So the next time you decide you want to beat it up remember, changing up the pace can go a long with towards making her vagina happy!

Tend to your fingers – putting dirty fingers or unclipped nails in her vagina is no Bueno. Your fingernails trap numerous types of bacteria and should be sanitized. Unclipped nails can cause her harm internally. The one thing you don’t want to hear from her is OWWWWW or Ouch. Handle that fellas.

 

 

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Valentine’s Day Tips (Black Men and Romance Part 2)

valentines day love GIF by HULU

Every Valentine’s Day I hear folk on social media shitting on the holiday made for love. The most common phrases are “I don’t celebrate V-day because…” or “V-day was made just for folk to spend more money”.

When I hear those phrases I instantly think that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a women he doesn’t really care for or that she has never really had V-day done properly.

With all that being said I personally LOVE Valentine’s day. It’s like Christmas but with the women as the headliner instead of the kids. It’s the one opportunity within the year that you can justify going all out for her and also find tremendous deals with the V-day packages available.

If you are struggling to figure out what to do for your sweet this V-day don’t fret I got you! Here are three VIP tips that will ensure that she know just how much you care for her on her day!

Provide an Experience

 

What I like to do is find the best bed and breakfast in the area and go! You normally can find a package that throws in Dinner, Champagne, Roses, etc.… For a reasonable price. Also a lot of Bed and Breakfasts are within a reasonable distance of an entertainment center where you can take her to a play, comic show, concert, etc.…

Here is a good source for B&B’s that I use to find what’s available in the area:

Bed and Breakfast.com

Here is a sight that I use to find premium boutique hotels and B&B’s. Excellent properties on here:

Small Luxury Hotels

And if traveling to another city and you want to stay within its core I would use nothing but:

Hotwire

Just put the star level at 4 and up and pick the area that your research tells you there are things to do and hit pay now! It has never let me down in any city that I’ve been in and I am sure you will have similar results.

Pro Tip: Pack her bag while she is at work and pick her up and hit the road. Tell her you are taking her someplace special and she will enjoy the extra surprise.

She only likes gifts?

 

Ok you know your lady and she only accepts gifts and cash on her special days. Don’t worry, I got something for you too.

I know getting gifts can break ya pockets, but it doesn’t have to. There are many websites out there where you can find name brand crap on discount. My favorites are:

Higher End: Gilt.com

Budget: Fashionova

Something Different – Subscription Box

Well there are plenty of these things for women and you can pair these with an experience or another gift. Here are the best imho:

Box of Style

Avenue A | Adidas

Onyx Box

Curl Kit

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7 reasons why more black men should become investors by Kelvin Solco

African-Americans spend over $32 million annually on automobiles and over $27 billion annually on clothes and shoes. I recently read a Washington Post article written in February 2011 that stated 1 out of 4 African Americans indicated they owned stocks, bonds or mutual funds. Wow! Attention all Brothers! This needs to change!

According to an October 2017 article in the Washington Post, 1 in 7 white families are millionaires compared to 1 in 50 black families. During the past two decades, white families have significantly increased their wealth by investing in financial assets such as stocks, bonds, and retirement accounts. Their non-financial assets such as automobiles and real estate have also increased, but not as significantly as their financial assets.

So what should a good brother like you do? I recommend we all teach ourselves to become investors in stock and other similar assets. Why? There are many reasons but for the sake of brevity I will give you seven.

  1. Investing in financial assets, (like stocks and retirement accounts) is one of the easiest ways to become a part owner in a business that you do not have to manage.
  2. Purchasing a stock that pays a dividend, (or money periodically paid directly to the stock holder) is a great way to build passive income, (or money you earn with little or no effort).
  3. The stock market “return on investments” (meaning the amount you gain compared to what you had to invest) has averaged about 10% since the 1920’s, (which is must better than what you will get from a Bank savings account).
  4. Becoming a financial investor (a person that uses money to accumulate more money) is easier than ever because of the numerous online tools and other technology.
  5. Investing in stock does not require a college degree, formal training, or a credit check (but some type of low cost investor training is highly recommended).
  6. Becoming an investor can change the way you manage and allocate your money.
  7. Investing can be fun if you put in the work and do the research!

According to Investopedia.com, if you had invested $100 in Amazon in 1997 during their initial public offering, your investment would be worth over $49,000 by October, 2017. Obviously this is not the case with all stocks but I believe your chances of getting a return on a $100 dollar investment is much better with stock than betting $100 on the lottery. Is there risk involved? Yes, absolutely. There is both a significant amount of risk and a strong possibility of losing money. But there is also a significant amount of risk in just about everything else we do in life.

So, I am praying for more brothers to start the process of learning to become savvy investors. If you are interested, I recommend you start by reading an article called “Getting Started in Stocks” on Investopedia.com. Do not purchase anything just yet! You should never purchase financial assets without getting more information from a financial seminar or workshop, or by seeking help from a financial professional or a financial mentor.

So what are you going to do with the next $100 dollars you have to spare? Should you buy the latest best-selling Nike shoes, or should you buy stock in Nike first, (and then buy the shoes later when they go on sale)? I think you should invest, because you are blessed! Finally brothers, please carefully consider the following Bible verse:

Proverbs 21:5 The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, But those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty.

About the author: Kelvin L. Solco is a motivational and inspirational speaker with over 22 years of management and executive leadership experience. He has a bachelor’s degree from an HBCU and a Master’s degree in Business Administration from a Christian University. Kelvin enjoys teaching leadership, career planning, aviation education, financial literacy and basic stock market investing in Churches, social organizations, schools, and small groups. Kelvin can also be booked to speak to groups in large or small events. For more information see his LinkedIn profile or contact him a KSolco@joinvictory.org. Kelvin is not a certified financial planner.