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Top Five Things Black Men Get Wrong in the Bedroom (Part 1)

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Fellas if you are anything like me you probably think that you are the SHIT in the bedroom. Honestly how many men do you know that would admit to being bad in the sack…?

Yeah Me Either

But according to our women we all aren’t all 10’s in the love making department. In fact we apparently have a lot of issues pleasing our women. So in an attempt to get better I have queried every women that would answer me on this topic…

What are some things that Black Men get wrong in the bedroom?

In this 5 part series I will attempt to highlight those Top 5 ways that we get it wrong and I will also attempt to provide solutions to these issues.

Top Five Ways things Black men get wrong in the bedroom:

  1. Lack of Familiarity with the Vagina (Part 1)
  2. ? (Part 2)
  3. ? (Part 3)
  4. ? (Part 4)
  5. ? (Part 5)

Honorable Mention: Penis Size

Surprisingly most women didn’t mark this as a concern. Apparently the “little guys” are finding ways to overcome their deficiency by doing things other than penetration. Their lack of size also is overcome by penetrating from different angles (more on that later). They also apparently are more affectionate which goes a long way for women.

Lack of familiarity with the Vagina

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Dealing with a woman’s vagina should not be like a treasure hunt but apparently for some men it is.

 

 

One of my female friends told me that “some men just don’t know where the clitoris is.”…

…that is crazy to me being that it is 2018 but I believe her.

What it tells me is that if you don’t know where the clit is you probably don’t care much for your partner (which happens).

But having said all of that if you STILL don’t know here are two diagrams of the vagina and the sex relevant areas.

Diagram of Vagina’s Erotic Zones Internal
Diagram of Vagina’s Erotic Zones External

 

Now that you can identify the various components of the vagina, you need to know what parts are the relevant pleasure zones during sex. Of the twelve ways a women can orgasm seven potentially involve the vagina (anus included). Those orgasm types are:

  1. Clitoris – Orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris
  2. G-Spot – Orgasm through stimulation of the small spongy area above the vagina wall
  3. Cervix – Orgasm through applying pressure to the Cervix
  4. U-Spot – Orgasm through stimulation of the area around the Urinary Opening (squirting)
  5. Anal ­­– Orgasm through stimulation of the anus
  6. Blended Orgasm – Orgasm through stimulating more than one area at a time
  7. Multiple Orgasms – Multiple orgasms come in two forms: sequential (one right after the other, with rest time in between) and serial (one right after another)

Here are a few video tutorials on how you can help her achieve the big O:

Hand Stimulation Techniques For Explosive Orgasms –

http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/hand-stimulation-techniques-explosive-orgasms/

Basic Tips For Going Down On Her –

G-Spot Orgasms: Tips and Techniques to Stimulate Her –

Now fellas I know you will feel pressure in trying to make her achieve these orgasm types and that would be a mistake. Before you rush off and try to go ham on these Zones make sure you know who your partner is and what she likes. If she isn’t comfortable with her body or not relaxed the achievement of most of these will be next to impossible. You have to ensure that she is relaxed and aroused before you can begin to see results.

Also make sure that everything you do to her body is done with focus and intent. The Focus and Intent should always be about pleasing her. That’s the only real way to ensure that she is satisfied.

 

P.S. Some things you shouldn’t do to the vagina:

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Do Not Bite IT – I have heard women say men have used their teeth during oral sex. Why, why and why? Fellas I doubt that it feels good

Don’t Ignore the Clit – I have also heard the complaint that some men spend a lot of time licking everything BUT the clit during oral sex. Not wise considering that the majority of the nerves in the vagina are located in the clit. Which means she probably doesn’t feel much bro! FOCUS!

Rabbit Sex – Fellas I know you probably have learned most of your sexual technique from porn. Which is fine, most women probably do that same but… Just because you see Wesley Pipes pump her vagina into submission doesn’t mean that’s what works for her. Remember in Porn they shoot for what looks good on camera not for what feels good for her. So the next time you decide you want to beat it up remember, changing up the pace can go a long with towards making her vagina happy!

Tend to your fingers – putting dirty fingers or unclipped nails in her vagina is no Bueno. Your fingernails trap numerous types of bacteria and should be sanitized. Unclipped nails can cause her harm internally. The one thing you don’t want to hear from her is OWWWWW or Ouch. Handle that fellas.

 

 

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Valentine’s Day Tips (Black Men and Romance Part 2)

valentines day love GIF by HULU

Every Valentine’s Day I hear folk on social media shitting on the holiday made for love. The most common phrases are “I don’t celebrate V-day because…” or “V-day was made just for folk to spend more money”.

When I hear those phrases I instantly think that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a women he doesn’t really care for or that she has never really had V-day done properly.

With all that being said I personally LOVE Valentine’s day. It’s like Christmas but with the women as the headliner instead of the kids. It’s the one opportunity within the year that you can justify going all out for her and also find tremendous deals with the V-day packages available.

If you are struggling to figure out what to do for your sweet this V-day don’t fret I got you! Here are three VIP tips that will ensure that she know just how much you care for her on her day!

Provide an Experience

 

What I like to do is find the best bed and breakfast in the area and go! You normally can find a package that throws in Dinner, Champagne, Roses, etc.… For a reasonable price. Also a lot of Bed and Breakfasts are within a reasonable distance of an entertainment center where you can take her to a play, comic show, concert, etc.…

Here is a good source for B&B’s that I use to find what’s available in the area:

Bed and Breakfast.com

Here is a sight that I use to find premium boutique hotels and B&B’s. Excellent properties on here:

Small Luxury Hotels

And if traveling to another city and you want to stay within its core I would use nothing but:

Hotwire

Just put the star level at 4 and up and pick the area that your research tells you there are things to do and hit pay now! It has never let me down in any city that I’ve been in and I am sure you will have similar results.

Pro Tip: Pack her bag while she is at work and pick her up and hit the road. Tell her you are taking her someplace special and she will enjoy the extra surprise.

She only likes gifts?

 

Ok you know your lady and she only accepts gifts and cash on her special days. Don’t worry, I got something for you too.

I know getting gifts can break ya pockets, but it doesn’t have to. There are many websites out there where you can find name brand crap on discount. My favorites are:

Higher End: Gilt.com

Budget: Fashionova

Something Different – Subscription Box

Well there are plenty of these things for women and you can pair these with an experience or another gift. Here are the best imho:

Box of Style

Avenue A | Adidas

Onyx Box

Curl Kit

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7 reasons why more black men should become investors by Kelvin Solco

African-Americans spend over $32 million annually on automobiles and over $27 billion annually on clothes and shoes. I recently read a Washington Post article written in February 2011 that stated 1 out of 4 African Americans indicated they owned stocks, bonds or mutual funds. Wow! Attention all Brothers! This needs to change!

According to an October 2017 article in the Washington Post, 1 in 7 white families are millionaires compared to 1 in 50 black families. During the past two decades, white families have significantly increased their wealth by investing in financial assets such as stocks, bonds, and retirement accounts. Their non-financial assets such as automobiles and real estate have also increased, but not as significantly as their financial assets.

So what should a good brother like you do? I recommend we all teach ourselves to become investors in stock and other similar assets. Why? There are many reasons but for the sake of brevity I will give you seven.

  1. Investing in financial assets, (like stocks and retirement accounts) is one of the easiest ways to become a part owner in a business that you do not have to manage.
  2. Purchasing a stock that pays a dividend, (or money periodically paid directly to the stock holder) is a great way to build passive income, (or money you earn with little or no effort).
  3. The stock market “return on investments” (meaning the amount you gain compared to what you had to invest) has averaged about 10% since the 1920’s, (which is must better than what you will get from a Bank savings account).
  4. Becoming a financial investor (a person that uses money to accumulate more money) is easier than ever because of the numerous online tools and other technology.
  5. Investing in stock does not require a college degree, formal training, or a credit check (but some type of low cost investor training is highly recommended).
  6. Becoming an investor can change the way you manage and allocate your money.
  7. Investing can be fun if you put in the work and do the research!

According to Investopedia.com, if you had invested $100 in Amazon in 1997 during their initial public offering, your investment would be worth over $49,000 by October, 2017. Obviously this is not the case with all stocks but I believe your chances of getting a return on a $100 dollar investment is much better with stock than betting $100 on the lottery. Is there risk involved? Yes, absolutely. There is both a significant amount of risk and a strong possibility of losing money. But there is also a significant amount of risk in just about everything else we do in life.

So, I am praying for more brothers to start the process of learning to become savvy investors. If you are interested, I recommend you start by reading an article called “Getting Started in Stocks” on Investopedia.com. Do not purchase anything just yet! You should never purchase financial assets without getting more information from a financial seminar or workshop, or by seeking help from a financial professional or a financial mentor.

So what are you going to do with the next $100 dollars you have to spare? Should you buy the latest best-selling Nike shoes, or should you buy stock in Nike first, (and then buy the shoes later when they go on sale)? I think you should invest, because you are blessed! Finally brothers, please carefully consider the following Bible verse:

Proverbs 21:5 The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, But those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty.

About the author: Kelvin L. Solco is a motivational and inspirational speaker with over 22 years of management and executive leadership experience. He has a bachelor’s degree from an HBCU and a Master’s degree in Business Administration from a Christian University. Kelvin enjoys teaching leadership, career planning, aviation education, financial literacy and basic stock market investing in Churches, social organizations, schools, and small groups. Kelvin can also be booked to speak to groups in large or small events. For more information see his LinkedIn profile or contact him a KSolco@joinvictory.org. Kelvin is not a certified financial planner.