One of my favorite Disc Jockeys, DJ Kash was the DJ at school who did all the best parties. He also was one of the first, if not THE first to bring Caribbean riddems to the A! Now with the influence and respect from legends like Grandmaster Flash and Kid Capri he is currently killing the airwaves of Atlanta’s WHTA (HOT 107.9 FM) and sharing the bet awards stage with Rae Sremmurd; DJ Kash has proven himself a leader in the art of Djing.
I am not against interracial relationships (I would like to get that out up front). You should be able to choose whomever you want. However I do believe that one of our main issues in this country is the erosion of the black family and community. The reason behind that erosion is well documented, so I will not get into it here. However having said that, if you chose a women that is not of our race it is in my humble opinion a SELFISH act.
I know I know using the word SELFISH in this context seems a bit harsh. But it is not if you understand what the word means. Selfish – characterized by or manifesting concern or care for oneself. “Oneself”. Being a better black man is never about “oneself”. Choosing an “other” because her hair is straight, she isn’t difficult to handle, she stays in her place, etc… is all about YOU and nothing else. Stop being selfish bruh and grow a pair.
I also believe that to repair the damage done to our families/communities it will take an awful lot of SELFLESS actions. One of which should be to choose a black woman. Although that isn’t my main reason that YOU should choose a black woman. That has everything to do with HER and what SHE has done for YOU. Here are my top FIVE reason why YOU should choose a BLACK WOMAN:
1. She is becoming the most educated demographic in the country
According to the National Center of Education Statistics there are currently more black women enrolled in college than any other demographic (9.7%).
They are twice as more likely to actually graduate from college then YOU are.
Surprisingly our communities are not as strong as they were pre civil rights era. This is due in part to our strong family ties that were extremely matriarchal. Since then both the family and community has eroded. According to the U.S. Census Bureau only 39% of OUR children are growing up with both parents in the household (The percentage of white children is 74%). Just imagine how much better off we would be if both parents raised the majority of our children. I bet both the child and the community would be a lot better off.
3. She comes in every FLAVOR you can dream of!
Some guys choose others for their “exotic” looks, lighter complexions, etc…, thinking that they are better
The picture below says it all
There is nothing more “exotic” than a black woman. Go get you one!
4. They are the new standard of beauty
Have you taken a look at social media these days? Everywhere you look there are “others” coloring their skin, enhancing their butts, lips, etc..
The models, TV and movie stars, etc… Are getting thicker.
And just go to this IG group and tell me I am wrong!
IG pages – @adoringblackwomen, @darkskinwomen
5. She has always been there for us
Our history began on this continent in 1619, when the first ships laden with West African men, women and children arrived in the colonies. A time when they tried to take from us our very identities as human. It was she who told our stories through the generations. It was she who made sure YOU kept your rhythm. She held our families together like NOBODY ELSE COULD.
After the age of slavery, while we were off fighting or building the white man’s war machine. It was her who made sure the children were fed. She was there when we returned home. She stood by our side like NOBODY ELSE DID.
During the Civil Rights movement she stood on the front lines with us, helped us remain organized, supported our ambitions and also held our families together like NOBODY ELSE DARED.
She stood by you when you couldn’t get that factory job and chose to take a chance by selling drugs. She held the family together whilst your wayward ambitions took you away from them like NOBODY ELSE WOULD.
She continues to be the only one that you can rely on when you are at your worst and she is just waiting for you to choose her when you become your best…
See a lot of men believe our women of color to be “Difficult”. But what they fail to understand is that our women have been dealing with us and our bullshit for centuries. If you don’t believe that every black women you know carries with her the shared experiences of her ancestors within herself intrinsically you know nothing! So by the time she starts dating one of us she already understands our centuries of baggage. She grows up seeing how we treat our women and expect the same. Then when she dates of few of us we dog her, just as she expected. So by the time YOU reach her at 35 she has not only been born with those centuries of innate hurt. She is then hurt repeatedly by us all 35 YEARS of her life. SO OF COURSE SHE IS DIFFICULT BITCH!!! ( I will take my hands off my hips now lol)
But the “others” weren’t born with the centuries of baggage we have. See their history with us is oh so brief. And that is why sir THEY DON’T DESERVE YOUR LOVE. They just haven’t earned it yet.
I will get into that final point more in part two of this series.
Thank You for your time
Are you ready to be a better man? Fuck with me then!
This post in particular is for my YOUNG BOYS out there currently in school (Shouts out to SoLLUMINATI).
A common complaint I hear from our young boys that are struggling in school is that they are getting a bad grade in a class because the teacher is bad. They’d say, “I don’t understand what Ms. Smith is saying”, “Ms. Johnson doesn’t know what she is talking about” or my favorite; “Nobody else is passing either” (shout out to Mr. Barkers Airport Management Class).
I remember my young self-saying a lot of those same things in Mrs. Dupuy’s Spanish class (Yo no Hablo espanol). And I also remember at a young age to stop using that as an excuse for failure and that there just might also be other reasons why I couldn’t follow what was going on in those Spanish classes.
You see I know there are definitely some bad teachers out there, but most aren’t. I know for certain each and every one of those non bad teachers out there want every single one of their students to succeed. But no matter how good any teacher is someone will fall through the cracks. And that’s why teachers are taught to create lesson plans designed to make sure that those students down the middle make it through (my opinion, argue with me!). And those students at the top and the bottom have to figure something else out.
I was probably a higher level student. But I was failing Spanish class. My typical last-minute studying wasn’t working for a language class. This failure lead me to research learning styles. And as soon as I realized what my learning style was I never failed another class. I want you to do that same exercise and learn what you need to know to ensure YOU never fail again. Here is a list of the Seven Learning Styles:
The Seven Learning Styles (For more information on each individual learning style, click the styles name)
Visual: You prefer using pictures, images, and spatial understanding.👁👁
Verbal: You prefer using words, both in speech and writing.🗣✍🏿
Physical : You prefer using your body, hands and sense of touch.👏🏾👋🏿
Logical: You prefer using logic, reasoning and systems. 🤔🤔🤔
Social: You prefer to learn in groups or with other people.👦🏾👨🏾👦🏿👩🏿👧🏿
Solitary: You prefer to work alone and use self-study.👦🏿
(It’s likely that your own personal way of learning is a combination of a few of those above, so focus on which one describes your strongest attributes)
My learning style is Solitary. I would study alone the night before an exam and get an A with no problems. So I never needed a teacher to adjust to me. If your learning style is something else you may need your teacher to change-up how they relay the information to you.
My advice with that is for you to just be straight with them. Tell them that you researched learning styles and that your learning style is “fill in the blank here”. After that a GOOD teacher will do their best to adjust for you. A BAD teacher wont.
Having said that anyone interested in being a better black man will always look to help oneself. And once you understand your learning style you should be able to help yourself with just a little bit more work. Here are a few ways you can do that :
Like anything in life nothing comes from knowledge without the work! Even if you know your learning style succeeding isn’t guaranteed. But I have faith that you will do what you need to do to be better.
Are you ready to be a better man? Fuck with me then!
You know I love the HBO show Insecure. I personally think it is a near perfect depiction of the current state of black relationships. In particular folk 35 and under. Some people would complain that the show is over sexualized. I would say that our relationships are over sexualized so the show got that right. But with all the screwing and love making on the show something important is missing; Romance!
None of the love interests in the show used romance to initiate sex with the main characters Issa and Molly. It almost always begins with a lusty encounter that looks both brief and unsatisfying. Does that sound familiar? Have your most recent intimate encounters involved romance?
Fellas this is mostly our fault! For starters I don’t think black men are the only guys that struggle with intimacy and romance in the bedroom. However, this blog is about making “US” better and that is where my focus lies with all of my posts.
If you ask most black women in America when was the last time they experienced romance in the bedroom, the answer would most likely be “it’s been a long time”. The reason behind this is complex but the short story is that Romance isn’t required anymore to have sex with a woman. They have become accustomed to going without; and now you would be pressed to see instances of romance in the bedroom on TV or anywhere really. That fact should not stop us black men who are interested in doing better though and I am here to help you change the narrative on this topic.
Whether you are single, married or in a committed relationship, romance should ALWAYS be a part of your repertoire; and here are 5 reasons why:
Women love to feel special – telling a woman you love her and that she is special to you is one thing and showing her is another. A man who wants to be better will always do both.
Women love to out do their friends – If you provide a romantic experience that supersedes what her friends have experienced you win.
It’s good for you too – Black Men often have issues with expressing emotion. Being romantic gives you the opportunity to show her how you really feel about her.
Makes you a better lover – I don’t know about you but I personally want to be the best lover in the world. Changing it up and adding romance will definitely make you a better lover. DO IT
IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOMEONE ELSE WILL – If a woman feels neglected in ANY WAY the probability is high that she will seek someone else to fill in those gaps. REMOVE ALL GAPS fellas.
Now I understand that sometimes it’s hard to come up with romantic ideas that are both creative and don’t cost you a bag of dough! But fellas, I am here to help you with a surefire plan that not only sets the new standard for your relationship but will also ensure that her panties are drenched before you even touch her.
THE PLAN(There aren’t too many things more attractive to a woman than a man with a plan)
Situation – This plan is best for those with a significant other but will work in most relationship types. Also, should be used for special occasions like bday, vday, etc.… or randomly (my choice).
Place – Your place. You have all the control over the mood in your own place. Control is king because the one with the control gets the credit!
What does it improve – Romance, Intimacy and Foreplay
What you need:
One week Meal Service Box(Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, Etc…)
Fresh organic strawberries – Get these from your local organic food market i.e. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, etc.… black women are ahead on the organic food game and you will get points every time if you have produce from these places.
1 bag of Chocolate Chips and 1 bag of White Chocolate Chips (get the brand that you like the most)
1 Bottle of Wine – For White, get a Moscato (Try getting a unique brand (although she may be happy with a Barefoot wine you should step it up). Anytime you put her on to something new she will remember it forever.
Arrange a simple Netflix and Chill night with your lovely. When ready, put on the playlist and start making the meal together. The TOGETHER part is very important and the meal boxes are great because not only do they give you everything you need, they detail every step you need to take via pictures and video if needed. Take turns doing each step so that each of you are equally involved in preparing the meal. During this stage have normal conversation with just the occasional touch. Also, feel free to have a glass of wine or herb (whichever y’all prefer).
After your meal, it will be time for your dessert which will be chocolate covered strawberries. Now I chose the least expensive and simplest recipe for this but you can get as elaborate as you want with the ingredients here.
How To Make Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Feel free to get as messy as possible during the dessert making process (chocolate covered kisses are the best btw).
After enjoying both the chocolate and chocolate covered strawberries, she is ALMOST ready for the coup de grâce. Play this song from the BBBM Romance Playlist on Spotify or YouTube.
Now pull your lovely close and slow dance with her. By the second verse vertical foreplay is in order. By the end of the song the panties should be ready for removal (because they are drenched lol).
Enjoy fellas and if you have any questions about this tip please contact me at bbbmtheblog@gmail.com.
Also, if you are that dude and feel like you need a more advanced plan. Or if you have a special occasion coming up and want to surprise your lovely please hit me up.
Are you ready to be a better man? Fuck with me then!
